Well hi everyone, this is a post I am writing on the
train and will post later. I am sitting on the train now in NYC about to
leave for Greenville. I am going to an important family occasion. I
have not been in a good state of mind for a few days and I have cursed at some
people. You are probably saying into your computer, well what seems to be
the trouble. Well I will tell you. Friday I was on a subway and
thought I was at my stop so I got off the train and then realized it wasn't my
stop so I got back on the train but realized I had passed my stop so I needed
to get off the train again and the doors were closing so I hurried and held the
doors open so I could get through. Well the drivers do not like it when
you do that and the guy started closing the door on me repeatedly. Well I
have neck problems so that is not good and I chased him down yelling at him as
the train was leaving. It was kind of like the Superman scene where Superman
runs faster than the train except I did not catch up with the train driver and
I was grabbing my neck in exaggerated pain. I do think that train drivers
should get in trouble for hurting people on purpose and I told on him.
Anyway the next day I volunteered in the Bronx and I was working on a little
food task and a guy blasted some embarrassing music right in my ears and it
hurt me so much. It made me suicidal and it made me feel like I can never work
or volunteer again. But I have volunteered a lot this year and only had a
few experiences like that but to me it ruins my life when things like that
happen and treatment like that is one of the reasons I haven't been able to
work. Anyway I prayed some mean prayers over the weekend and sent a
little note about the situation. It is true that addressing things
directly usually prevents a lot of resentful grumbling but sometimes it seems
impossible to do the confrontations that help you feel okay and prevent further
issues.
Anyway Sunday I had a busy day and then took the
guinea pigs to the pet sitter and on the way home I stopped at a restaurant
that I had vowed to eat at someday and then I walked on to the train station
and gave my leftovers to a guy at the train station. Well it was a
great bag of leftovers and I was happy to share except later realized that that
guy might have known I had eaten there and been part of some people who tracked
me for fifteen blocks to get the food. That sounds paranoid doesn't
it? Well a lot of homeless people in New York have certain methods
to get cash and they text each other and keep track of who gives what and they
conveniently show up in your train car or at certain corners because other
people let them know several blocks away that you were walking down the street. Anyway
some people in my neighborhood do that to me too and I already have a lot of
problems so I am thinking about not giving any food or money to people any more. It
is kind of sad because I do think a lot of people not only need but deserve
cash handouts but I am not going to reward people for being part of a whole
network of people that tracks me and follows me.
Anyway today I went to a certain store that rhymes
with "Sold Gravy" (they probably google themselves and sue innocent
bloggers) to get some clean pants because the laundromat in my neighborhood got
burnt in a fire so I am a little behind on laundry chores. Well they
no longer have my size and oddly haven't had my size there since I sent an
email complaining about something several months ago. But I don't
know if they would have targeted me that much but anyway I ended up getting a
pair of "slim" pants and they are horrible! All I can do
is be happy for the Wal Mart White Stag brand that now has a chance to really
compete based on appearance instead of predatory price slashing and worker's
soul slashing. But anyway maybe people won't recognize me in this outfit so
they won't be able to target me and keep treating me so bad and hurting me on
purpose. I do believe I am on the way to becoming a Batman Villain
and it seems that part of my costume will be these horrible slim pants.
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