a very Dave thanksgiving

       Well everyone I just posted this picture of Dave on facebook.  Dave is my pet guinea pig and I was thinking about saying “Dave is the reason for the season.” Which is partially true because it is Thanksgiving and I am thankful for Dave. But that might have made the photo go viral or even “pandemic” and Dave is not ready for that kind of notoriety. Dave is an excellent guinea pig and helped me get through Thanksgiving yesterday after I went through some stuff with indigestion and mental illness symptoms. 

      Roger and Fred, my other guinea pigs who died earlier this year, are celebrating Thanksgiving in heaven or maybe haunting houses if that is what they chose as their near final destination until the trumpets sound and guinea pigs are gathered from the four corners of the earth, etc. 

     It seems that I am in the mood to say things right on the edge of acceptability. Well that is where Dave and I reside along with a lot of mice and imaginary mice.

     Have a great holidays everyone and save some turkey for me and Dave because we are planning to surprise a lot of people who wouldn’t be expecting to find us at their holiday tables eating some food and telling everyone that facebook invited us to all their family gatherings. 

A New Creative Writing Story:

Hey everyone I wrote a new story at an online group today:

A Story About Finding Yourself

 

Ralph Ralpherson decided to time travel to the future. He chose a day ten years from that day and transported to a location.  When he arrived, he saw that there were one hundred Ralph Ralphersons already there because he decided to time-travel to that same destination a hundred times again after discovering that he would eventually do that.

Neighborhood Follies

 Well everyone, a new recipe: brown gravy powder, sour cream, and boiled pasta. Just mix it up and you have a noodle stroganoff.  It is so yummy and totally free if you already have the groceries for it. Now where are you going to get some cokes. Well maybe from the grocery store. Where are you going to get some halloween candy.  From your leftover candy stash. Where are you going to get some coffee.  Well you just drank some so stop being a hog.

Should I vote tomorrow? please vote here: no______   probably not______

It is NaNo Wrimo month everyone. I am writing a new novel about a food pantry and some imaginary mice who are assigned to the humans there. One of them is named Pudge McGoober who is also a lawyer for Judgement Day and is preparing for his cases. I think Judgement Day will be less scary if we find ourselves in a courtroom with a lot of imaginary animals who are not mean.

Well try not to get Covid everyone. Try to limit your health problems to seizures and hallucinations or one gallstone that mysteriously finds its way to your ear and falls out when you are sleeping. 

photos from skipping volunteer work

 

google translate extravaganza

Well everyone, I hope you are having a good day.  I am having a good day but still have to quarantine even though my covid test was negative.  That is okay with me and I am just thankful that I don’t have covid.  When I think of other problems in my life, like an unfair publishing delay or disability from abuse, I can also be okay by being thankful that I do not have a serious addiction problem.  I have a problem eating too much sugar, but it is not the same as worse things like heroin addiction or being prescribed Depakote. Counting blessings is definitely one of the most effective strategies for coping with loss, but sometimes people are expected to do that too much instead of having the fair treatment and blessings that they should get instead. 

But I have enough blessings and happiness. I have pudding and jello in the refrigerator, coffee and caramel sauce, and dramatic parkinsons symptoms that include sleep paralysis where I feel a demonic presence next to me holding a human head and I scream for my mom but no sound comes out. It just doesn’t get better than that for quarantine entertainment, and I truly will not complain because along with that kind of illumination I am also learning in a theology class about Martin Luther King Jr’s nonviolent resistance. It is helping me understand my own Catholicism, which I have found to be just the right theology compromise for our whole society.  MLK was a saint, and he does not need anyone’s forgiveness as the final word, because he had it from Christ himself, making him a Presbyterian, too.  He was also a black person, which not everyone can do. Anyway, I have translated one of my poems into Chinese:

詩

最光榮的事情之一

耶穌基督在地上做了

他是怎麼保密的

我們的守護天使

是友好的卡通小老鼠

Tuesday Post

     Well everyone, today is September 8. Soon I will go volunteer at the place that lets me have a lot of breaks. Yesterday I posted a new book on smashwords and I think it turned out pretty good: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/smefird5 . I snoozed a lot of the jihadists on my facebook feed so I am in a better mood these days although because I avoid the news I often don’t know what is happening. But I think things are such a mess that most of us are going to get some good rewards in heaven. The Bible says that no eye has seen or heard what God has planned for those who love him.  Well I hope it’s all cash. American cash from prehistoric times. That’s why I try so hard to never say anything ignorant.

     This volunteer project today is my 399^th project. My goal is 400 and then I don’t know if I will keep volunteering. I might try to get a job instead at some kind of think tank. Not like a Washington political think tank but at like a food think tank where people bag groceries and you sit near the snacks and wonder why there are not more flavors like grape-lemon-lime. Well honestly that is a lot like my volunteer work so maybe I will try to keep doing the best I can. Have a great day everyone and see you later at the grocery store if you ran out of milk or are one of the legal sharks who has been following me and harassing me for the past five years or more.

Escape from guinea pig mountain

Well everyone, I hope you are all having a good day. Today has been kind of a crazy day for me because some crazy stuff happened.  I went to volunteer work and they made things difficult so I just wandered around talking to myself. It was a good time. Then, here is the crazy thing. I got home and was in the kitchen to wash my hands and drink some seltzer and I looked down on the ground and there was Dave.  Dave who is my pet guinea pig. What was he doing in the kitchen? It is very dangerous for guinea pigs to just wander around in an apartment with all kinds of people food and chokable things everywhere.  I bent down and picked him up.  He did not try to run away at all. He was not injured and did not seem sick.  I went to my room to put him back in his cage and saw that it had fallen onto the floor and some clothes and my bed.  Well interestingly it created a hill that he must have walked down instead of just falling from the cage onto the floor.  So that is interesting and probably part of why he is okay. I think he had an interesting day too. Later I am going to go to an online workshop with one of my favorite authors, Myla Goldberg.  I read her books called Bee Season and False Friend. The session only costs 20 dollars.  That is very exciting.  My facebook ads for my website and books are also doing well.  It is very exciting and hopefully I will start selling books soon.  Right now just getting a lot of website visits is a great start.  Some people clicked like or shared the ads, too, which I really appreciate so much in such a special once in a lifetime moment of hope and need kind of way.  The last thing is that I ate some cherry pie filling from a can because they gave something similar to people at volunteer work and that reminded me that I had that same yummy grocery sitting on my counter. So that is exciting.  Well have a great day everyone.

interview on a podcast

Hi everyone, I was recently interviewed on a podcast:

 https://open.spotify.com/episode/2sOKLuUaLWyjQ63nUFl29T?si=WZSpcuubQiKm8orHX5DI8Q

here is the podcast on apple:

Listen to Refried Bean from Open Hands on Apple Podcasts. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/open-hands/id1514293593#episodeGuid=https%3A%2F%2Fopenhands.podomatic.com%2Fentry%2F2020-08-10T13_37_10-07_00

shout-out to Greenville friends, thanks for the memories!

Well everyone, you probably weren’t expecting me to post a recipe today. Especially not one for turkey sandwich sauce, but here it is: mayonnaise, butterscotch pudding, and soy sauce. Not too much of any of it, though mayonnaise is the main ingredient.  I would eat the sauce on white bread, but you can get a similar effect by just using regular mayonnaise and using a glazed donut as the bread. Kind of like a donut burger but cooked ground turkey is yummiest.  But really just cold cut turkey with the sandwich sauce is a yummy food. Y’all probably were expecting a post about the legal sharks, who have called me over 5 times this week. People have bothered me in person, too, so it is hard to know who is who. It is weird to be followed by bad people, but the main thing is to just eat a sandwich when you can and wait for the bad people to catch themself on video trying to hurt nice people like me, or worse, to catch themselves behind the video sharking up their child abuse fantasies to try to ruin a whole community of people with the easiest religion to follow in human history. You literally pray a prayer and go to heaven for eternity.  It’s just so confusing and discriminatory that we should all be persecuted every day by cowardly media attacks and false accusations from people who are bored because they never learned to help others.

Guess what everyone, I figured out how to do a virtual background for zoom meetings.

You just have to put a blanket or sheet up behind your zoom station and then change the setting for virtual background. You can use any image from online. Have a great day, everyone. It is time to make people think we all live in mansions or at the mall or in a Harry Potter castle.

Cooking with Goober Strawberry

Hi everyone, I just want to share this cooking idea from my quarantine adventures, which is to cook chicken pieces in butter and Worchester sauce, and then add a glob of goober strawberry peanut butter and some heavy cream.  Then add more Worchester or soy sauce. Cook it for a while as you prepare some rice to eat with it, and you end up with a nice dish of peanut chicken, kind of like Thai food but with a cheapened grocery store theme. Make sure the chicken is cooked thoroughly before adding the cream and goober strawberry glob. Normally you would add some honey, but that is not necessary because of the strawberry jam mixed in with the goober peanut butter. Possibly it works with Goober grape, but I don’t know. Have a great day and don’t let the fine dining establishments find out about this exciting secret recipe for Goober Strawberry Peanut Chicken!

blog post July 15

    Well everyone, how are you doing. I am doing fine. I just ate fried eggs with goat cheese and it was yummy. I cooked it myself. I think I will wait until later to make bacon and cheese grits.  Yesterday I volunteered. I did better than usual but am still kind of a conspicuous mental patient at the project.  But I am thankful to still be here and be safe because I thought that there might be some trouble on Bastille Day, like the radio or New York Times telling everyone to attack people like what happened in Rwanda a long time ago.  I think it might have been an irrational fear and things seem to be mostly okay for now.

     Anyway I need to clean my apartment as much as I can to prevent Bubonic plague. This means I should probably go to CVS soon and get some flypaper, a broom, and some trash bags. I will also try to get some milk and cereal. I have gotten a lot of work done so far and my pets are safe in their cage with a lot of food and grass.

     No one wants their pets to get Bubonic plague, but it actually is treatable if it becomes a problem.  I feel that today’s assignment is to forgive people. Crowds of bad people from my life.

     Well have a great day everyone. I have hidden my mad blog for a while because of recent questionable posts, but probably I will restore it like normal soon.

happy fourth of july

Well everyone, happy fourth of July.  I am staying inside so far today and eating ice cream.  One of my pet guinea pigs died last week and I am mainly focusing on making sure that I don’t pretend he is still alive in a weird way.  Just joking. I know he is safe in heaven and going on an adventure with his new girlfriend named Kinshasa. She was a guinea pig in a pet store in my neighborhood that had to sit in a cage for a long time in close proximity to a giant snake. So it is good that she is now happy and safe on a journey with Roger.  They traveled to some far away lands recently wearing cloaks and delivering a magic relic to a secret location.

Anyway I might post a new book later today.  It has some crazy mad poems that people might not appreciate. But I think it is still an interesting book.  It also seals the deal on what seems to be an increasingly official decision to allow myself one curse word to use publicly in full force without doing the best I can. I think this could be a good compromise for me and will help me have the strength to really prevent all the other words from being part of my speech even when I feel mad. I am not saying which word I chose to keep as part of my working vocabulary. It is still something that I think should only be used rarely and in self-defense.

 Anyway I just finished an online conference and am going to try to start over with quarantining, grocery shopping, and volunteering.  I also need to clean up my apartment, but my laziness has reached new heights, also referred to as Washington Heights where I live. When people feel laziness or motivation problems, it could be a sign that they are a writer or an artist who might rather create a rendition of the action and goals they imagine. Think about it. A lot of young people don’t know they are writers or creative in a visual and mental way, so they envision a life where they are doing stuff and being a certain way and then have trouble making it actually happen. But if they let themselves be themselves instead and put their idealism into poetry, then they might be more at peace and ironically get more done towards what they believe in.  I actually think that despite a lot of pessimism from me and others, a lot of things in our society show that people have been winning the struggle to be themselves and help others. And God provided things like facebook and social media for all the people who are a lot like me and do better in writing than in person and would want that meaning to count just as much as anything else. Well have a great day, everyone, and remember that tomato sandwiches are yummy plus ice cream.

photo of JC for new book

Food Ideas

Hi everyone I just wanted to share a couple of food ideas:

First is to add a glob of peanut butter to Breyer’s Black Cherry Ice cream and mix it around. It makes it be like a peanut butter and jelly ice cream and it is a yummy texture. 

Then the other idea is for a sauce that you can mix with noodles or use to dip pieces of cooked chicken in:  All you do is mix some cream of chicken soup with sour cream and a spoonful of barbecue sauce. It is simple but adds a creamy flavor to other foods.

The other idea is to add ginger ale to the refrigerated punch at the grocery store.

Well have a great day everyone.

Obituary for Roger the Guinea Pig

Roger the guinea pig was born in 2014 and was chosen as a pet with his two cousins from Petco named Fred and Dave. Roger enjoyed eating carrots, romaine lettuce, treat food, and water.  Roger was featured in papers for NYU social work school and visited the children at PS 132 in the Bronx on multiple occasions. Roger was an evangelical Christian and tried to live out his faith despite occasional stomach bloating, digestion problems, and flies and maggots that bothered him in his final days. Roger is now in heaven singing songs that he was unable to learn on earth because of the fall of man as depicted in Genesis 3. Roger is survived by his pet owner named Refried, a pet care provider named Nicole from Cuddly Buddies, his vets from St Marks Vet, Westside Vet, and the Animal Medical Clinic in New York, and numerous mice friends plus Fred and Dave. Roger’s photo can be visited in books or websites of Refried Bean.

Reepicheep from Narnia

lucille clifton poem

poem share credit: Pam Taylor

cream cheese and crescent rolls: a recipe for disasters

Well everyone, I just ate a yummy snack which was crescent rolls with some cream cheese.  And you might be thinking to yourself, well that is nice but it sounds like you could have really made a nice food with those ingredients and added other stuff like jam or some kind of italian ingredients or some honey mustard and ham or something, or some sugar to make it a cheesecake flaky dessert.  Well you are right about that and I thought about it but opted for just the cream cheese and I think that I will enter this new snack into the Pillsbury Bake-Off competition because it was very yummy.  And the people there will think the same thing and think Gosh there is so much more you could have done with these ingredients but then they will not be able to help themselves during the judging process and they will keep coming back to the table with the crescent rolls on it because of a nagging feeling that maybe that snack beats all the other foods and finally they will discuss it and say okay I think we have to give this to the cream cheese person. And I will win a million dollars and use it all to buy more cream cheese and then live in an indentation smoothed out of a huge mountain of cream cheese.

cookies

     Well hi everyone, here are some cookies that I made.  I think they turned out great, but I left out the vinegar and honestly I can tell the difference.  But they are still good cookies.  It snowed today and I made gingerbread cookies but it is May.  That is interesting isn’t it. I also got a birthday present that my mom sent me.  So I opened a present, too, and I have a Christmas tree up.  Well that is kind of confusing, isn’t it.  Tuesday I am taking a social work license test.  I have been studying for it and the material is familiar.  And I took a practice test and have found that I do mostly agree with the correct answers for the ones I got wrong.  So I think it is a hopeful thing that I could pass the test. I am not leaving my house until then even though I am almost out of milk.  I will use ice cream to put in coffee just as I had planned.

     I think I might make macaroni and cheese later which is what I ate yesterday.  The secret to the cheese sauce is to start with melted butter and flour.  Then add the milk, then the cheese.

      It took me all day to make these cookies because I am very lazy. But I am thankful for what I have which is schizophrenia.  One of my friends posted some photos of me today on facebook that were really group photos from a trip which is my first trip to New York in college.  One of my friends on that trip ended up moving to New York and working in advertising. It is very funny because in some of the photos I am making a funny face and I smiled that same way in a lot of college photos and if people had to guess which person in college was mentally ill, it was very apparent in all the photos.  And everyone knew anyway because it was also in the newspapers when I disappeared and found my way to Bellevue.  

    Anyway I hope you all are having a nice day in the snow or if you live somewhere where it is December then maybe it is warm weather there. 

https://nypost.com/1999/04/13/missing-s-c-student-turns-up-at-bellevue/

Blog Post May 2, 2020

     Well everyone, I hope you are all having a nice day. I am about to make some fish and grits for lunch. Then I am going to a support group in a zoom meeting led by my friend named Neesa who leads an online facebook group that I am in. I need to do some chores in my apartment which is so messy that I think there is a risk of it turning into another Wuhan lab.  Should I have said that. I do not know, but my apartment is messy and I need to do laundry and take the trash out soon. Anyway I have been volunteering, but there have been some incidents where I was rude to others because of feeling upset by inexplicable mistreatment that I attribute either to the conspiracy from Greenville, sub conspiracies or supra-conspiracies from New York and elsewhere, the Barnes and Noble legal sharks that have been following me and harassing me, a satanic counter-conspiracy which could be the same people, charitable but painful torture interventions to rebuild patience, traumatic memory re-enactments for narrative therapy,  policy expert recruitment and writing prompt assistance, social “justice” hypocrits, neighborhood activists who get me to sign a rent freeze petition and then threaten to make my name known to property management sharks, and various corporate power plays from stores who employ way too many secret shoppers and commit actual civil rights violations that could be brought to trial at any time.

    Other than that, I am a very happy person who has food and shelter and meaningful opportunities to help others.  And I am very thankful for all of it and for all my friends, so thanks everyone. I hope you all have a great day and I hope you all are able to someday read the whole book of Isaiah because it really is to me the best literature ever written even though I once considered trying to submit one of my poetry books to a poetry contest against it in heaven. I just felt like some of my jokes were really funny!

some people did not get coronoravirus checks

Hi everyone, do y'all like this food volunteering photo.  It makes me look like a covid hero but really I have been more of a covid hoarder who accumulated pancake mix and rice in a maniacal way.

But I try to direct some of my food mania to help others and thankfully have gotten to volunteer some this week and last week. If you want to donate to some of the New York organizations providing food for people in pretty much all categories of people needing food, here is a great short list of some of the best food organizations in New York:

https://www.wscah.org

http://nycommonpantry.org

https://xaviermission.org

https://www.foodbanknyc.org

http://cityharvest.org

NAMI Walk this year

Hi everyone, I hope you are getting through the coronavirus okay.  I hope they do a rent freeze soon. That does not mean I do not care about real estate people but I think that is the thing that would also benefit them whereas most other solutions would cost people more unevenly.

I am signed up to do the NAMI walk this year for the first time, so if anyone wants to donate to the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, I have a donation page posted:

NAMI Walk Fundraising Page 

I have been participating in support groups through NAMI for several months after years of just knowing about that organization through more of a distance.  One year I was going to do the walk on a team called the Bipolar Bipeds, which I think is pretty funny.  But I have not really participated until this year. The team I am on is called Connection Care.

It is kind of a hard time to donate, but to me it helps a lot with getting through the coronavirus experience to do some things that I know have helped other people. It makes me feel better to think of people having food because of me, or being able to get mental health support like the NAMI helpline or support groups.

Something interesting about NAMI is at the groups I feel a certain kind of mental health that also includes people's mental illness itself.  Like you are allowed to be mentally ill, and then the health and comfort you achieve is within that context instead of some form of relief at the cost of your life participation or some kind of pretending to not have mental illness.  Anyway, their theme this year for the walk is "Mental Health for All," and I hope anyone who wants to be included with NAMI's mission will be able to in some way.

kind of like cola wars but handing out cans of soup

Well everyone, I hope you are doing okay. I have been doing some chores and volunteering and still trying to figure out how to have the right amount of groceries.  Today I went and helped some soldiers from the army pass out food in the Bronx.  I told them that they should change their camo to this:

Quarantine Activities

  Well hi everyone, I hope you all are doing okay. Some people are not doing okay right now, and it is good to keep them all in our thoughts and prayers.  I personally got discouraged yesterday after not succeeding at a boiled custard recipe, so I can only guess how exhausted grocery store workers feel and people who are sick right now and need medical care.

    I have some masks finally and think I will soon volunteer again at a food place starting next Wednesday. I think that is definitely all I can offer, and I am determined to not chicken out and refuse to do my part in helping people have groceries.

     I am okay on groceries myself and might be able to wait until next Monday to go to the grocery store. Has anyone gotten a check yet from the government? It is hard to tell how the timing is working out on that.  But for me it helps to know the cash is on the way. With this kind of delay, the schedule probably could have been staggered instead and used to prevent a rush on stores and a new wave of hospitalizations.  But I guess we don’t know what will happen. It is great to see signs of the hospitalizations flattening out, and all the work people did to make that happen is a great thing to be thankful for.

    I am working on a poetry book and almost posted it on Easter. But I decided to wait and keep adding to it while I am quarantined.  Should I call myself quarantined when I am not sick?  I do not know if avoiding the illness itself is the same thing as preventing contagion personally. Maybe it is with this illness because of how people can supposedly have it and not know it.

     Anyway, here is a picture of my book cover. It will soon be posted with my other books on smashwords, including my recent short novel called Pizza Novel, which is a kids book about imaginary mice, leaks in the abyss, and cookies.

Grocery Store Eve

     Well everyone, today is Thursday night.  It is grocery store eve, which is an exciting holiday for me. I have not left my apartment in two weeks and tomorrow I am going to try to go get some milk and eggs and a few other things from the grocery store.  One thing I am going to try to get is vanilla ice cream to use instead of milk for coffee when I run out of milk.  I think I am going to try to stay in my apartment for a whole month after this trip to the store.  I signed up for some volunteer work to help people have groceries, but I think I am instead going to try to avoid getting the virus. I think that I am actually at a pretty high risk for having trouble if I do get the virus, and I should do the best I can to stay alive.
    Tonight I played Scattergories over Skype with one of my friends from Greenville which is my hometown. It was pretty fun and I told her something funny which is that I have been so focused on groceries that whenever I think about getting the virus and going to heaven, one of my main thoughts is hoping they have the same groceries there that we have here.  I think that is kind of funny that I would mainly be wanting certain brands of packaged goods like Campbells soup instead of caring about other things in heaven like having sanity again or seeing loved ones or missing people. But I do like food a lot and I like grocery stores, and I think a lot of people will want some of the same blessings from earth in heaven. It could be kind of comical.
     Anyway I finished the third book of my imaginary mice trilogy this week and feel mostly excited about it.  I think it turned out pretty funny and all the rodents in my apartment are excited about it, too.  Well have a great day everyone. Hopefully I will be able to pray some more soon for all the hospital people and anyone who needs food.

The secret messages are saying this robot is me.

  

   I am not sure why, but it does make sense if I stop and think about space movies of the 80s. Today I ate some rice and beans and enchilada sauce. I still have some cheese and sour cream, and some cooked ground chicken, so it was a Mexican feast. I am wondering what is happening with the government coronora virus bill.  I think a simple stimulus check for every American would have been good about five days ago, and some of us probably could have found a way to help the immigrants too.  But it seems that there is another political hold-up.

   My church’s service online this morning was great, so that is good. But then some people persecuted me for having memory problems. That is why my writing is choppy.

   Speaking of choppy, a great tv show online is called Chopped. They share free whole episodes on the website from Food Network. 

   I am losing some weight from rationing food. I think that is good and I invented a kind of wacky jumping jacks to stay active during my weeks sheltering down in NYC. I am happy for all the volunteers and workers out in the city right now showing a very inspiring and sacrificial love for people, but I think I might need to stay healthy indoors and sell my e-books soon.

   Well have a great day everyone. If any of you are truly experiencing some kind of unbearable misery right now, I pray with all my heart that you are given some food and peace and hope as soon as possible in a mostly permanent or at least stable way.

I genuinely apologize for hoarding cake mix.

I probably do not need 6 boxes. I just panicked and ordered from Wal-Mart when we currently have enough food in my neighborhood. Some people in rural areas probably really need their food delivered and I did not mean to hurt anyone or myself. I just freaked out and imagined myself eating cake every day for several weeks. In order to learn my lesson I will try to eat a whole cake so fast that I am sickened by the experience. No really I hope you all have enough food right now and it you ever support charities, now is probably the time to help other people get some backup food or food at all. 

Rations

Well everyone, coronoravirus is not going to stop me from eating Easter candy every day for lent. And it seems to be a good excuse to learn how to cook beans, which I bought at the grocery store to prepare for any kind of shutdown or quarantine. I boiled some of the beans today to use for soup or chili but learned that really you have to soak the beans for several hours.  And really overnight is the goal.  But I am trying to speed the process so I soaked them for an hour after boiling them for a few minutes, and then added a mixture of cooked ground turkey with chicken soup and peanut butter and cooked it on low heat for a while. I decided to keep a lot of the bean water still in the mixture and am hoping the beans soak up the water in the next few hours so it ends up as a chili and not just a soup.  I think it is working.  I think using my other favorite ingredients of honey, mustard powder, and worschester sauce is going to create an interesting chili. I added a can of corn, too. I am not sure if all the flavors will mix in a good way with cream of chicken soup, but I think it is good experience to make a whole pot of chili. Sadly, I added garlic early on but I think I have enough other flavors for that not to mess it up. I think if this chili effort doesn’t work, I will make a normal chili next time with the next bag of beans, using more of the traditional tomato sauces and chili spices that people use. I have some sour cream and cheese so I think this could end up being kind of an indulgence instead of what I thought it was which was me cooking some beans as if I lived in a cabin somewhere and went to the general store only a few times a year. A lot of apocalypse movies and Judgement Day paintings don’t show the pots of chili and the marshmallow bunnies and chocolate sauce, which is my next defense against the pandemic.

What should you do if you see one of these:

It looks like a coronoravirus doesn't it. I found it online when I was searching for images of suction cup kooshballs that look like coronoravirus. I thought it could be good for a tweet, but the photo was blurred once I tried to upload it.  I have been wondering if there is a conspiracy where some of the tech company control freaks are doing things like costing people likes on purpose or making the faces on videos have ugly expressions captured in the freeze frame. But there is no reason to be too paranoid.  What people should be paranoid about is that tomorrow morning there is a visiting nurse from my insurance plan coming to my apartment to talk to me about my condition and medicine.  And I do not know whether it really is someone trying to help me, or if instead it is a legal shark from the barnes and noble people who have been harassing me and following me with legal intimidation.  If the visitor doesn't shoot me and instead turns out to actually be someone from the insurance program, even then are they really trying to help me or is it some kind of investigation in disguise as a way of reducing medicaid recipients.  Well this person will literally smell a rat because there are some dead mice in my apartment. But hopefully it will be fine.  I just now felt suicidal.  Medicaid paperwork and insecure benefits make me feel that way, and interestingly, a lot of the legal intimidation seems to be focused on my spending and transaction records. I think it could be a problem for them that it increases pressure about something that already causes me so much distress.  I think that could change the category of the crime, which has now been going on for over 10 years and involves many more people than I would have guessed would want to sign up to be the bad guys in a morality play that uses actual damnation.

Daylight Food Time

    Well everyone, I hope you are having a nice day. I am in New York City after a trip to visit my parents and my sister’s family in Greenville, SC. It was a great trip and I am thankful that I got to go there and to be back before the main coronora virus problems.

     My gallbladder has recently been bothering me on purpose and I will probably have to have it removed soon.  But so far I am okay if I avoid certain foods. But some things you can’t avoid, like reeses peanut butter eggs and chicken with cream sauce. And coke and coffee and jelly beans, marshmallow peeps, and cookies.

    Anyway I find that the coronora fears are a nice addition to my anxiety disorder and I am not freaking out too much.  I am just going to try to wash my hands and make sure I do my part to minimize the contagion. And I am not going to scream “coronoravirus” in a crowded building.

    Something exciting right now is that I started using a lava lamp that I got myself for Christmas a couple of years ago.  It is working great and I am happy because I wanted one as a kid and now I finally have one.  It is so cool and I am glad I did not get one as a kid because I probably would have become a scientist instead of a poet.

    Well have a great day everyone. See you all at the hand sanitizer stores.

The Year of the Rat

Well everyone, it’s time for a blog post.  Today is the Chinese New Year and it is a great day because this is 2020- the year of the rat.  I was born in the year of the snake, which I am not happy about, but I love rodents and am so excited to be living in the year of the rat this year.  I think it would be a good year for people to become a born again Christian if they want to so they could be from the year of the rat after all and be very clever, wise, and financially successful as evangelical mega church pastors who need to avoid the numbers 5 and 9 and could benefit from the colors blue, gold, and green.

  

I have something else to say which is that I just tried adding peanut butter to the cream sauce for ground turkey and it turned out great.  So it is butter, honey, worschester sauce, cooking the ground turkey until it is all chopped up and cooked, and then add honey mustard just from a jar, and then a glob of peanut butter, and some heavy cream.  Then cook it for a while and then here is another crazy idea is to sprinkle cheese on it when you eat it. It doesn’t seem right to do any of that but really it is correct.

Anyway, the latest legal intimidation phone call was routed through 1(218) 285-8522 from International Falls, MN.  I interpret it as meaning that they are going to carve a Wiccan Star into my face, but I am probably reading into it too much.  You ought to be able to harass and stalk a disabled former cashier for five years without everyone thinking you are a devil worshipper.

A New Year’s Day

Hi everyone, I hope you are doing great.  Today is Sunday, Jan 5. Today has been one of the nicest days I have ever had. I am trying to figure out if I had good behavior or something to deserve it. I did kind of do the best I could in some ways, but I still feel like today’s experiences were better than I could ever have chosen or earned. I took communion at church and it was great, and then I ate cheese grits at my favorite restaurant. And a guy was watching the football game in such a sweet way outside of a pizza place. He stood there for about thirty minutes watching it on their TV. Then, at volunteer work, there was this golden blob statue on a table, and a guy who has been nice to me said he thought it could be gold, but then it wasn’t, so he left it on the table.  Then another guy talked to me about it, and he said he thought it might be something that has to do with witchcraft.  Well I had not touched it because I thought it had to do with an Eastern religion that I don’t believe in.  Then this other guy started talking to us and said it looked like an elephant. Well then I noticed that it kind of looked like an eagle or a cobra. And I think the statue is like some kind of Rorschach game where you can see different things in the sculpture.  And I think it is not a religious item or a bad trick, though the experience really reached me all the way to my mind’s eye, which I have been thinking about and trying to learn more about, because I experience some serious verve in what I mentally think about, see, and get attached to in various ways.  Anyway, the object to me also makes me think of a lot of different people I know, and I feel like the experience was right in a zone of so many associations that it was something really special.  And I would say it was one of the happiest experiences of my life in a certain way, like to me, the core of what is most meaningful and fun in life.  And the people around me were so great, and those guys who I talked to were so cool and to me part of the whole interpretation experience. My conclusion about the object is that it is an idol from a society that worships play-doh.