this Blog is now available as a book called "Mad Blog"

 Hi everyone, I published this blog.  I like how it turned out. It is 450 pages and you can see a plot develop throughout the posts as they start out happy and friendly, then there are hints of legal intimidation, and then I am wrenched completely and my life is ruined by political hypocrits.  The book is on amazon with my other books.  There is a link at refriedbean.com.  I don't know why my books haven't sold.  I think it is because of mental health case management.  But I am kind of tired of not having an income that matches my work.  It does hurt my feelings and I have to start to see that maybe the conspiracy is actually abusive.

But I am okay and enjoy the creative process without the sales but I am a sales and advertising-ish kind of person and intended to create products worth buying.   Like it's not just charity though I would give away as many books and cash as I could.  I feel misperceived as a worker.

Also I am not as conservative as my posts make it seem, but people harrass me so I defend all of us in writing.  People in the north are so quick to remind evangelicals that americans are never persecuted but I feel sorry for them because we are, and it is them who do it.  I think some of it was motivated to reach their unchurched people and get everyone engaged in politics.  But unfortunately their politics became too much a substitute for religion and they have hurt a lot of people.

But that is enough of that. I am tired of it being my job to understand and analyze people's abuse as they mistreat me.  Some of the nature of most abuse is that it is bad and stupid so in a way it doesn't make sense.  So why try, it only takes time and energy from other worthy goals and better people.

I have gotten a lot of mental health care to still feel this bad.  Every day i feel anxiety and pain. Whose harvest is that? Is it mine, from writing and doing volunteer work?  I doubt it.

Have a nice day, everyone. Some of this is a re-enactment from other times in my life. It is part of creative therapy in new york.  But some of that story was an assaulting public as a retail worker so think about whether you want that to be you or if you want to be in the hall of polite customers.

gay-splaining

 I just did enough posts for the day but might as well get working on this other topic that has been on my mind to help northerners understand.  A frequent thing that a lot of culture assaulters who have chosen religious persecution as their lifestyle use to justify their actions is the bad voting habits of republicans.  The south’s main participation in the culture war was to vote, go to church, and try to maintain family life. This was while the north did their thing, which was mainly sexual harassment from media, and trying to use tax dollars for abortion. A lot of southern resistance did get hypocritical but it was very often innocent.  For an abuser to have a legitimate case against any of us means that something in that mix had to be really bad.  And usually people try to make it be about the vote.

 

After participating highly in liberal occupied territory, first as a bookstore worker and later as a writer in New York City, I do see something that the nicer liberals also innocently don’t realize.  And that is that for many years, the good people in the south mostly were republicans.  Like however wrong we have been or they have been or whoever it is, the fact is that in the south, the people who told the truth, went to church, and did what they were supposed to, were republicans.  Things have changed some and there probably are some okay democrat candidates by now, but for most of the time, the democrats tended to be people like John Edwards, John Kerry, and Al Gore.  And frankly, I am not fooled into thinking that Joe Biden is not also one of those people, no matter how much anyone wants to associate him with Obama, and no matter how much he himself is willing to let people die as part of his attempt to imitate Obama’s “diplomacy” habits. 

 

A nuke is not supposed to be a “red line.”  It is supposed to be prevented as a good country is defended and defends other innocent life.  If we are no longer securely a good country worth saving, it is likely the same problem as having leaders who don’t have the moral strength or position to enforce true justice and secure safety.

 

People used to complain about “politicizing” things and doing things like war or not war for political reasons.  But I think something behind that has been exposed, and that politicizing also has a different goal even more shallow.  And it has to do with specific power-hungry people’s expectation for the whole world to be at risk so they can feel successful.  And this new weakness that is on display as Russia, China, and Iran use a luxurious amount of time to prepare for more rape and murder, is not unrelated to the hypocritical racism behind half a nation being so proud that they voted for a black person, that they insist on re-enacting it instead of “progressing” out of the widespread debt and poverty reaped from stubborn polarization.  

 

The theme seems to be that if you voted for Obama you are a good person, and if you didn’t, well history has proven your racism, hasn’t it?  But unfortunately it seems that for some people, that is the only decent thing they did, and for the rest of us, getting molested at the airports for 8 years so he could be successful just wasn’t enough and never will be. You want our worship, you think our religion has been proven wrong because facebook chose your side to win the 2020 election, and you think God is okay with millions of young people not even knowing the basic facts of atonement from Jesus Christ.  I vote libertarian but liked Obama.  I felt that he was a good president and a great Christian witness for the world.  But if you think that millions of people should die as a celebration of your little check mark once, okay wow, twice? in your whole life, then you are the one with the racism problem, and not coincidentally, a much more serious religion problem. 

hyper-con

  Well hello everyone. Today is march 25. I have not written on this blog in a while.  I just ate some casserole that I made from a new recipe. It is called Dorito Casserole.  You cook some chicken, break it up into small pieces, and add it to a mixture of sour cream, cream of chicken soup, and taco seasoning.  Then you sprinkle doritos on top.  I cooked some rice because there was a lot of creamy goop so I made it go further.  It is yummy!! I think it will become a usual frequent recipe I use.  

I think I am going to finish being a writer soon.  I still need to write the soldier hogs novel.  Maybe in April for Nano Wrimo. And I think I will do another poetry book to complete a three book series.  However I feel that possibly I have said all I have to say and I should finish up.  

 

What do you guys think about that? Like maybe I should switch from writer to bookseller and try to get these books into some schools and churches or something.

 

I am sad to not have enough trustworthy journalism to know what is happening.  I have had to avoid things like nbc news because they are so obviously assaulting me with lies and bad portrayals. It is kind of funny that they are recording themselves doing that as history. I don’t know if Biden can win a war and still achieve the religious persecution he wants to in the United States. It is weird to disengage from media and see it from a distance.  I wrote a story once about a cloud of raisins that attacked a camp, damaging property, and then moving on.  Possibly that is what some of the political problems will be like. But I guess we won’t know for a while.

I guess Biden could try to lose the war to get rid of some of the military conservatives, creating more moral injury so the liberals can say that it was all another vietnam.  Or maybe that is what they already did.  So this time the goal will be to allow China and Russia to take slaves from those pesky red states in the middle and south between the blue states who want to be nuked while they sing john lennon songs.

Possibly this is why I am going to die thirty years early, so I can attend the judgement day of a certain generation responsible for other personal losses.