It seems to be temporal lobe epilepsy with hypergraphia and memory loss. Here are some of the recent visions. I think sometimes I see the stuff after feeling some love from my true church background that was kept away from me for many years and could not be replaced by anything else including other churches.
a snake like an eel on sand and gravel
a snake with a flickering black tongue
a dead white guy with a sagging face and hollowed out eyes
a flat guy behind me on an operating table with a white and black speckled face and a scar down his eye like the Kiss rock stars and scar from the lion king with streaks of blond hair
a branch with ice melting
Daniel from the Bible
a cat in the other room
a small skull
someone who looks like Tina Turner
a commencement speaker in a purple and black robe who reminds me of someone from a movie
a young chinese female speaking casually at a government podium
some other faces that show up and fade
a midget with a lot of make-up in front of NYU hospital
a blue lady with brown curly hair coming out of someone near Bellevue
a guy with white plastic eyes standing next to my bed for two days
a guy with a beard who comes out of a mexican kid and starts to attack me
Jesus Christ and then another Jesus Christ who seems bad and the good Jesus shoots the bad Jesus and travels to Barnes and Noble in Greenville to play games
a close up of grayish green smooth snakes
a powdery white faced bald guy in a poster of new york city barking orders
a short bald scary red guy right in front of me
an scraggly old white man in the distance
E.T. but he looks younger
Saddam Hussein looking younger
a cup of coffee with Reeses pieces dropped into it
a black flappy thing flying across my room
in a dream, leaving a racism lecture with Connie May Fowler and we are in a stone courtyard of a church or Abbey and there is a statue of Mary probably holding Jesus in a ledge indentation but it is really Mary and not made of stone
I see a bowl of white slate like a mountain on the campus of Princeton Seminary and there is a fine brown dust on the rocks in retrospect but it is a brighter white than happens on this earth and it has to do with justice
a tiny vision of Jesus's face on the speckled floor tiles of NY Presbyterian ER.
a scene at my grandmother's house where I am digging hairballs out of the floorboards and having Christmas discussions with my sister and other people and Jesus makes a joke about buying a blue book from Barnes and Noble
a voice in an empty gray space saying "Nellie" really loudly
a dead body holding a human head next to me when I wake up in a tomb during sleep paralysis
a dream about someone from my life helping me but there are two bad things chasing us and I tell one to ask Jesus Christ for help and when I say "do you remember him," the bad spirit says it at the same time through my mouth as I wake up and feel relieved but the other one gets away
an African American lady with dreadlocks checking on me near my bed and a Dominican lady in the other room.
a black lady waiting outside the door of apartments on another floor
a verve that flies me up in the sky and I look down and see a sacrifical altar area on a New York roof like an Inca temple or European garden or one of those scary stone slabs in Lord of the Rings
two dreams where there is another apartment system overlapping this apartment in another realm and I go upstairs and people are partying in other rooms and I don't know if it is good or bad
a girl like an incubus pressing down on my chest trying to keep me from breathing during a sleep paralysis where I say you need to ask Jesus Christ for help and she looks hopeful and leaves out the window.
in a dream someone near a lake at a camp talking to someone else and then abuses me in my room as a tactile hallucination
a dream about Jacqui where she is the principal at a high school where I was teaching and did not do well but then quit because of the bag of syrup and felt better
a dream where DBB falls from the ladder at the mall near two enemies and I call 911
a dream where I am helping Dayle R. in a headquarters that gets nuked from somewhere nearby and I look out for a toddler as my arms become glowingly translucent as an X ray
a dream where I am at a reunion for the ministry I could not do and I see that it has to do with my mom being treated bad in her life
a dream where I see the risen selves of two people I know in heaven and I can't play hide and seek because of trauma
a dream where I see Fred Turner at a camp but it is his earth self and not risen self
a movie on the side of a building in NYC that is a muppet movie scene where Jack the muppet breaks through the screen except he is really Jesus Christ dying for our sins
I think I should not always call stuff demons but I think that a lot of it is actually the illumination of misportrayals that are meant to either tempt, accuse, or deceive.
The most extreme spells were after walking about ten miles on a hot day and I was able to interpret secret messages from God in a coded literary way like reading symbolism and initials for about four hours or more and then had to say okay that is enough and was in a trance for a day or so until taking some risperdal.
I think a demon named Macifer has been torturing my family for many years and I thought a few years ago that it was over and a whole civilization had been freed but I am not sure. I do not really know what I am supposed to do. I think that the people who are torturing me for supposedly benevolent reasons are wrong.
