I am trying to reset my behavior after cursing in the next post but people can see a trend in this blog where something went horribly wrong. I guess now I can say at least it was my life instead of the Hollandaise sauce.
I had to lose many layers of lifelong faithfulness in order to get to this instant gratification mindset. Maybe that is part of a disguise that God provided so people wouldn’t know who exactly they were offending with various violations that they were coached on from certain schools and media.
That is all for now. A very useful and comforting creative writing life has been turned into a wasteful journalism role with a rudely assigned beat of societal abuse, observed from a vantage point of constant rejection and harrassment, with some kind of additional managed cruelty designed by people who seem to think that an actually very extreme amount of destructive torture is necessary at all times to keep me safe from worse people. I honestly don’t think it is good or true, and I am often more right about things like that than people realize. But there is no need to brood about the past, which is something people do when they are depressed and something I have been doing because of another round of tricks to keep me safely in a low mood for the holidays. But I am not as safe as people think, and it is an absolute total unpredictable crapshoot whether my new knife set will be cutting the next batch of scrapple or my wrists and neck on Christmas Day.
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