On the Dead Side of History

 Hi everyone, I hope you are having a good day. One of my friends is reading my blog today, how are you, Anne, thanks for reading my blog.

It is a shame there is so much complaining and rudeness on this blog.  There is a formula where I feel a lull in my life consolations, so I reflect on a series of injustices against me, then read the news, and write a rant about all of society or half of it being mean to me.

 

There are about twenty posts that all are like that.  One of my books, Blob Mentality, includes a lot of my blog rants, and I do have to say that it is interesting political writing and possibly rare because of how embedded I am in communities that don’t share my exact perceptions.

 

But really I think I would be happy with a lot of other people’s choices and outlooks if I wasn’t so persecuted, which I am. I just am, I don’t know why, there were paths out of prior persecutions, which were as ridiculous as controlling parents and fashion discrimination, and I succeeded.  But it just wasn’t enough and people chose to have me as a burden on their dole instead of a successful peer.

 

So now I am blinded by irrational outrage instead of being the reliable guide that God provided for people who really could have benefited.

 

Will young people receive some of my jokes and gifts to them? I don’t know.  I think that if people drive me towards suicide constantly then I won’t be the healthy hopeful influence that I fought so hard to be.  It is obscured how much I won that fight, which takes a lot of deliberate effort from my persecutors who I will probably start naming by name more often.

Possible Blog Post

 Ok everyone today is Saturday, I will probably do some phone-a-friend calls and I am also attending an online retreat event which is helpful and fun.

I read the news today and was not happy to hear of atrocities in Ukraine.  But the war itself is an atrocity and you can see certain political interests not having a good understanding of war and moral perspectives.  And Ukraine can’t really wait forty years for the United States to re-educate all the people who wasted their time at hypocritical universities who taught people to pretend to be good while assaulting religious people with satanic media influence and bratty power plays. Like there has to be a pause while the people calling for “peace” clue into the rightness of Ukraine defending itself, and the wrongness of them doing that alone.

 

Anyway, why get depressed, I am not part of the conversation, my books were ignored, I still accumulate a debt to society as a supposedly worthless person after pulling myself out of career bankruptcy quite successfully about five times, meanwhile writing poems and stories that anyone should be able to tell deserves at least a minimal inclusion in some kind of intellectual community somewhere. 

 

I may soon not be able to continue asking friends if they want free copies of my overlooked books.  I just am not able to psychologically handle the variety of responses and people’s successful pretending that this is a normal phase of a writing career and not an insulting charade from being a crime victim whose society supports my abusers’ cruel plan and ignorant view indistinguishable from the political atmosphere of the communities I cared about enough to stay alive for. Is there a blessing I don’t know about? Are people in heaven reading my books right now and watching my overlapping peoples persecute each other and trade their prosperity and freedom for impoverished drug abuse communities to either be murdered or erroneously supported with what’s left of other people’s dwindling wages?

 

Meaning. Depression. It’s surprising that there are words for any of it, and that the lies of the media can even form sentences for people to pretend to believe when what they want is to watch violence against the good people whose righteousness they spent their lives trying to steal.