this Blog is now available as a book called "Mad Blog"

 Hi everyone, I published this blog.  I like how it turned out. It is 450 pages and you can see a plot develop throughout the posts as they start out happy and friendly, then there are hints of legal intimidation, and then I am wrenched completely and my life is ruined by political hypocrits.  The book is on amazon with my other books.  There is a link at refriedbean.com.  I don't know why my books haven't sold.  I think it is because of mental health case management.  But I am kind of tired of not having an income that matches my work.  It does hurt my feelings and I have to start to see that maybe the conspiracy is actually abusive.

But I am okay and enjoy the creative process without the sales but I am a sales and advertising-ish kind of person and intended to create products worth buying.   Like it's not just charity though I would give away as many books and cash as I could.  I feel misperceived as a worker.

Also I am not as conservative as my posts make it seem, but people harrass me so I defend all of us in writing.  People in the north are so quick to remind evangelicals that americans are never persecuted but I feel sorry for them because we are, and it is them who do it.  I think some of it was motivated to reach their unchurched people and get everyone engaged in politics.  But unfortunately their politics became too much a substitute for religion and they have hurt a lot of people.

But that is enough of that. I am tired of it being my job to understand and analyze people's abuse as they mistreat me.  Some of the nature of most abuse is that it is bad and stupid so in a way it doesn't make sense.  So why try, it only takes time and energy from other worthy goals and better people.

I have gotten a lot of mental health care to still feel this bad.  Every day i feel anxiety and pain. Whose harvest is that? Is it mine, from writing and doing volunteer work?  I doubt it.

Have a nice day, everyone. Some of this is a re-enactment from other times in my life. It is part of creative therapy in new york.  But some of that story was an assaulting public as a retail worker so think about whether you want that to be you or if you want to be in the hall of polite customers.

hyper-con

  Well hello everyone. Today is march 25. I have not written on this blog in a while.  I just ate some casserole that I made from a new recipe. It is called Dorito Casserole.  You cook some chicken, break it up into small pieces, and add it to a mixture of sour cream, cream of chicken soup, and taco seasoning.  Then you sprinkle doritos on top.  I cooked some rice because there was a lot of creamy goop so I made it go further.  It is yummy!! I think it will become a usual frequent recipe I use.  

I think I am going to finish being a writer soon.  I still need to write the soldier hogs novel.  Maybe in April for Nano Wrimo. And I think I will do another poetry book to complete a three book series.  However I feel that possibly I have said all I have to say and I should finish up.  

 

What do you guys think about that? Like maybe I should switch from writer to bookseller and try to get these books into some schools and churches or something.

 

I am sad to not have enough trustworthy journalism to know what is happening.  I have had to avoid things like nbc news because they are so obviously assaulting me with lies and bad portrayals. It is kind of funny that they are recording themselves doing that as history. I don’t know if Biden can win a war and still achieve the religious persecution he wants to in the United States. It is weird to disengage from media and see it from a distance.  I wrote a story once about a cloud of raisins that attacked a camp, damaging property, and then moving on.  Possibly that is what some of the political problems will be like. But I guess we won’t know for a while.

I guess Biden could try to lose the war to get rid of some of the military conservatives, creating more moral injury so the liberals can say that it was all another vietnam.  Or maybe that is what they already did.  So this time the goal will be to allow China and Russia to take slaves from those pesky red states in the middle and south between the blue states who want to be nuked while they sing john lennon songs.

Possibly this is why I am going to die thirty years early, so I can attend the judgement day of a certain generation responsible for other personal losses.