Have a nice day everyone

 Hi everyone, I hope you are doing okay.  Today is Saturday.  I am finishing up a round of facebook boosts from this week.  It went well and I am thankful.  My new page of art and poetry is different from my jokes page and people like my poems.  I am so thankful and happy about it.  I look forward to sharing more poems in the future.

I have felt more frustration with my jokes page this time, though I don't know exactly why. I think it is because I didn't nail it with my choices on what to boost.  But definitely there are some successful jokes, and even the ones that aren't as much of a zinger have found an audience. So that is good and I am happy to learn more each time I run ads. 

I complained to facebook about some crooked dealings and some of my numbers went down.  So that is too bad and possibly unwise, though the problems I complained about were egregious.  But my sense that it was a tragedy I think was possibly a little bit much and probably influenced by my psych meds which give me an odd specific feeling of devastation.  

The medicine I had to take was clonazapam because my gallbladder cramped up this week, and then I developed a severe case of bruxism, where your jaw clenches and your face hurts.  That is interesting, I think my life situations were exactly the recipe that causes that.  The competitive ambition on facebook, the stress and rage of being thwarted at every effort for two weeks by every institution I work with, and my underlying neurological conditions.  I can tell this will be an issue for the rest of my life, and I didn't have it two or three weeks ago.  So I truly can trace it back to my SSDI paperwork being lost in the mail, my apartment making my address unstable and not letting me get my mail reliably, my case manager hurting me on purpose for now the fifth month of suicidal suffering, my friends putting secret messages in conversations calling me stupid, facebook messing up my ads and posts on purpose in order to make our whole society beg, and my challenges with the banks as I applied for loans and credit.

I think I am not going to get the loan I applied for, but this recent ad burst might be enough for me for a while. I can go at a slow pace and I can tell that the facebook shares are not going to translate into immediate book sales. So it might be wiser to not get myself into a financial jam.

I just still question why the conspiracy persecuted me for ten years of social media probation.  It is such a waste but I think there are other writers and entertaining people out there, and plenty of people shared all kinds of ideas and art just as good as mine.  So I got taken down and crimed, and I guess I am back at the point where I say okay I guess heaven will be better.  I just think that is sad because my life improved to the point where I thought I must have cashed out some of my reward in heaven, and now it is ruined again, so I feel like there is nothing in heaven for me either. Now I feel the jaw clenching again.  Jaw clenching is not a joke.  It is not like twiddling thumbs and biting nails.  

Well that is all.  This blog is like a journal but it used to be a good blog fit for public reading.  So I just don't understand but I am thankful for what has gone right and someday I will understand what went wrong.  Will I go to the grocery store today, I don't know.  I guess i will go take a walk right now.

Have a good day everyone, thanks for the good times.

I can't wait to die from emotional abuse.

 Hello everyone, today is Saturday. I feel heartbroken because my life is a living hell and it didn’t have to be.  But people are persecuting me at every step I take and everything I do to survive and succeed.  Yesterday on the bus a guy was shouting at everyone and saying he was going to kill the bus driver.  The bus driver did not call 911 because they like to wait for a regular person to be the one to call.  But I did not call. I am not their shield and dummy and scapegoat forced to do their job. We just all stayed on the bus for a full twenty or thirty minutes until the guy got off the bus.  The security people at my apartment are the same way.  I don’t know that if I even called 911 for myself that any workers would be allowed to come up to my apartment in time.  They would be delayed on purpose until I die.

It would probably be by suicide so maybe that would work in my favor.

 

At the grocery store this jerk who I went and got coffee with one day followed me in the store and wouldn’t leave me alone. I told him to go away because the grocery store is already mean to me.  They are mean to me there, it is something new every time. I honestly don’t know how they think of a new problem each time.

 

I just boosted some facebook posts with an ad budget that is too small and delayed by a credit card not getting to me in time.  Again, I can’t get mail reliably at my apartment and today when I asked the security person if we can get UPS packages here, she literally spoke gibberish instead of answering me.  Like literal gibberish and no answer to my question.  That is the disrespect I am treated with everywhere I go and with everything I do here.

 

On facebook they showed me a preview for my ad and then when I clicked save to run the ad, it changed to a stupid photo of myself and not the drawing I had chosen for page likes. 

 

Then I tried to boost another post and they added a send message button so as to ruin it so I have to start over and the post is ruined.  They did this two weeks ago to my other page, too.  It is power plays, a favorite strategy of the north, rampant also in the social work field, despite the obvious ethical dishonesty and mistreatment of clients and workers.

 

After the bus incident last night I stopped in Starbucks and the music was nasty music that made me feel worse than even the bus danger did.  I am used to that kind of sexual abuse because I used to work at Barnes and Noble.  It is one of the most used weapons of the culture war against people who do what they are supposed to.  And yet media has gotten a disgraceful and hypocritical pass from feminists and other so called social justice advocates, who turn out to be behind most of the same harassment as usual.

 

Facebook approves most of my posts within ten or twenty minutes, but when there was an American flag on a post it took a whole day.  It was a joke about someone wearing clothes from the salvation army and an Old Navy hat and Nike Air Force One shoes. That is an embarrassment and I feel sorry for all of them as their bias, greed, and moral ineptitude will probably become more apparent soon as the hero children of conservatives go to fight in the upcoming world war that should already have been underway to defend a whole nation being attacked by Russians.  It will be us soon enough, with some people getting a double whammy from media monsters and the government’s experiments with sanctions.  I have not heard one single news story holding any tech snakes accountable for their obvious systematic creep to have the power to shut people out from their own computers.  The transition from software to subscriptions, the apple blocking on phones where you can’t send an email without logging out, or logging in, or whatever they want to force you to do. No one covers these stories, it is all about the so called racism and never about the automation with specific people behind it all collecting their passive income that they learned was possible from the expensive colleges that used to tell the truth.

 

People do not realize who they have persecuted, and those who are enabling the true criminals in our country are going to be rudely surprised to not be spared when evil overtakes us.  Don’t think it won’t be you. Don’t think it won’t be your people, and don’t think that your disgusting, nasty, racism won’t be seen for exactly what it is and discussed in a better world for eternity.