Sanctionaries

 

Ok everyone, I am apparently doing some blogging this morning.  I had to stop going to church because of persecution and oppression.  So now I am just passing the time of hopefully what is only a few years left by blogging while I still have internet access.  Probably soon Biden will sanction the 80 million, or okay, 250 million people who did not vote for him, and then no one will hear from me again, kind of like how it is now.

 

I thought I had a girlfriend but she has not visited me yet in my apartment that I am about to lose.  I am waiting to be placed somewhere else but they are sharking me. Really I felt like I could work somewhere and pay for my own apartment but the job people bamboozled me as well. 

 

I have some more interesting material that actually I can probably assume will come out later in some other posts.  It has to do with my role in life, often now as a white dummy, used by social work people to help others with their race repair for their own traumas.  I kind of get it, and had my own problems with old white men after my retail job which left me with brain damage and a lost societal contribution that people tell themselves was never really meant to be anyway.  The way it goes is I just show up and trip over stuff and display my embarrassing dementia symptoms in ways that make other people feel better about themselves.  And then anyone getting paid feels like their work is done, and the ultimate goal of transforming an over-achieving honors athlete in college to a subservient waste of space for all of adulthood has been accomplished.  The incentives to take showers and walks are sufficiently counteracted by the power plays that help everyone confirm that other suckers’ tax dollars have been appropriately allocated for grounding my face into the dirt like my gay-hating parents did. It was done and decided a long time ago, and I knew it. I was a genius and easily cracked the whole code sophomore year and had the severe depression that reflected my accurate prediction of horror after horror.  But I still had to go through a charade of humoring adults in a new setting called mental health care instead of just the usual futile negotiating for opportunities from prior grown-ups already trying to shut me down. The cartoon rendition of it in heaven will be the most popular slapstick entertainment in human history.  I wish I could offer a suitable ending, but it will probably just be either a boring heart attack from my tachyardia problems or just stopping breathing because of untreated asthma and the shutdown of all my organs and life systems.

 

 A system shutdown, what does that remind you of? To me it reminds me of… the united states of America, where we had some relief from media power, and then… they found us anyway and are harassing us to death once again.  But we are already dead, half conscious in a temporal lobe sleep state where the prophecy frequency is providing vivid perceptions of what will happen all too soon in ways we were warned about not once, not twice, but constantly from our own consciences which have monitored all of the reality apparent to us for this whole wretched span of history that is nothing but a display of bad behavior and failure that will hopefully make our betrayed and swindled descendents feel better about their own tragic crippling from not having a decent heritage. What can we do for the muslims now, who have new windows into what they missed out on for 7 hundred years.  Well turning the culture wars and civil war and revolutionary war, all into a perpetual new Jihad could be just the thing.  That’ll get ‘em.  Genuinely, I think it might, and I congratulate all of us on our disgrace that we have projected into the universe, which in many circles, as in… circles of hell… is the new name for God. 

When the crowds choose Barabbas...

It might be because facebook’s algorithms paid them to. I guess everyone is choosing sides for some more politics, and a lot of my friends will be sad to see that they have lost me.  Maybe forever, maybe not forever, but too many seem to think that they are excused from forever, and that a few votes for certain candidates cause them to be above other forms of morality and justice.  How unfortunate, though, that to alienate and demonize their chosen opponents, they have to package their ideas together in a sadly discriminatory combo that now is emphasizing killing full term babies. I think their harassment actually got to me first, hurting me before moving on to little unborn punkin pies, so my reactive canceling will not be as based on that as they would assume just because of the blatant offensive horror of it all.  To me it is more about personal betrayal, and how the richest, most blessed person in history has used his money and power to buy… more money and power, and thinks that years of dear friendship for someone with social anxiety are his to waste.  Well a lot of people seem to agree to it, so I will be saying goodbye to most of my persecutors, hopefully voting for someone like Rubio, or maybe no one at all, and then eagerly waiting to die after an absurdly futile pursuit of any basic social participation at all.  People have no hesitation to share their disgust with my prayers, but that is all they left me with, so I do it anyway, until heaven when we find out that might be all some people had going for them.

Me and the bear I found behind the grocery store

 

Hi everyone, today is Saturday.  All I am doing is walking and going to the post office to pick up some books to mail to friends.  Most of my books are on smashwords for free right now but I am mailing some to friends, too.  I had a lot of friends who were nice to me and saved my life for about twenty years of a conspiracy where people supplied secret messages and socializing.  It was nice but I suspect people got tired of it because there had to be an emergency ten years added to what they already did.  I had guinea pigs too that were nice to me but they have died so now I pretend the groundhogs near where I live are my new pets.  And they are so sweet, I just love rodents, I love all rodents, from mice and gerbils all the way to the giant capybaras. Well have a great day everyone, if you want to be my friend, I am on Twitter and Instagram as @refriedbeanpoet, and I am on facebook as Refried Bean. I write poems and stories. I think a lot of people have done more creative work than me with memes and online jokes, but some people might still like books of poems and they are only five dollars on amazon. Well have a great day, if you get scared during the war, come visit my pages and I will be nice to you.

Christianity is for U2

 a photo of the boss who hurt me:

Hi everyone, I hope you are having a nice weekend. I just took my medicine.  Yesterday I went to the hospital and had a nice time. The hospital provided a cab ride home as a reward for good behavior.  Because frankly I have had some ups and downs during my many visits as a patient. But they have helped me a lot and I like going there.  

 

Yesterday I also successfully decided not to go axe shopping after seeing this image of my old boss who used my own retail store job to ruin my life in front of my lifelong community, giving me permanent brain damage and taking about thirty years off of my life.  That is on the murder spectrum but she and the other manager who helped her have still not been arrested.  Maybe they won’t be. I do not know. 

 

The manager named John Hensley was nice to me. He did something weird with a promotion that I think documented me as asking for a raise when I already had one, but other than that I think he might have been one of the good people and not the bad people.

 

The company was Barnes and Noble.  I worked there for over twelve years.  What happened is kind of hard to believe, and I plan to forgive people when they take sides with this person because they like her tattoo, or because of politics, or because they are also satanists.  

Biden's brain is emptier than a northern church

i believe we are going to be invaded by russia and china. iran is already here.

 

it will be overwhelming,  they will come through canada. it will say in the news they are in montana. then kansas. then missouri. it will be heartbreaking.

 

our chance to prevent it was to fight for ukraine. but we chose not to. they probably will try to establish a post in new york. that is why china and russia already bought up real estate. so our city might not get nuked.  probably it will be alaska, portland, and california in one day. then the soldiers will get here and invade from the north and south. then the u.s. will reactionarily dispatch soldiers, some of which will not be loyal.

 

and all the while people will still be fighting each other about politics and expressing their hate as children are taken to china

 

where the ratio of men to women is 5 to 1 because of their buddhist culture of child murder

Sins by Omission

Here are some articles from when I went missing in 1999. One of the articles used to say I was a devout presbyterian but it has been edited.  I think it is the one that now mentions the hotel where my friend and I stayed. I don’t know why anyone would think they need to change an article from 20 years ago, and maybe it is a different article that is missing now. But if people did edit it to give a different impression of me, that is some weird persecution for someone who already was blocked from participating in media. And I would not have expected it from NY Post. I would have expected it from New York Times. But anyway, hopefully the north will secede soon.

 

https://www.nytimes.com/1999/04/12/nyregion/south-carolina-college-student-disappears-on-a-trip-to-the-city.html

 

https://nypost.com/1999/04/12/student-vanishes-from-midtown/

 

https://nypost.com/1999/04/13/missing-s-c-student-turns-up-at-bellevue/

 

We are the Champions, my friend

Hi everyone, here are some photos of my old class jersey from the Eastside Week reverse gender football game. Refried Bean is a nickname I have had since middle school. Now it is my pen name on the books I have been publishing since 2016. Possibly my books will be challenged, or my pen name, or some other kind of legal harrassment.  But I am innocent and honest and if you don't support someone like me then you are not a real social justice advocate or a true evangelical. I hope you all enjoy the books. I expect to be harrassed and abused for the rest of my life that probably only has about five years left. There seems to already be a line of people waiting to do lawsuits but all of them are bad people who should have waited to see what I could have personally given them if I had not been censored and pre-crime murdered.

 

 

VISIT MY NEW BLOG OF POSITIVE POSTS

www.refriedbeanblog44.blogspot.com 

Hi everyone, I have started a new blog where I say happy things that are going well.

If you want to read some funny books, I wrote 40 books and published them on amazon.  It is mostly poetry and I think young people would like a lot of the writing:

www.refriedbean.com

The books are also a cheerful resource for people with depression and I myself have survived mental illness for about twenty-five years.

If you want to learn some things about Christianity, a lot of my books share some jokes that also have valuable information and prayer ideas. Mostly the concept is that God will love anyone and you can ask for any blessings you would ever want and be surprised.  I feel that my problems in life have obscured this some for readers and that is why I am trying to start a new blog.

Here is the link to my new blog:

www.refriedbeanblog44.blogspot.com

I found a huge bear at the grocery store

 hi everyone, I found this bear next to the dumpster at the grocery store and brought it home as a decoration.  It seems plenty clean and I am excited about it.

Thanks, everyone, who read my blogs at any time.  This blog went through a phase of rant posts and I am now starting over with a new blog to say things I am happy about.  I suspect it could take on a sarcastic tone sometimes but I feel that I would rather not be too much of a complainer when I have enough food and safety and am not being tortured behind a cash register.

So thanks everyone, have a great day.

My new blog is refriedbeanblog44.blogspot.com

A pinata for the democratic party

 That is what I am in New York City. A target for people's hypocritical bullying. Some people have it worse and can't go to the grocery store at all. But I am almost there myself and receive a psychological punishment for almost anything I do, which was also how my family problems were that I have still not escaped from despite moving far away and funding my own existence with borrowed money, some of which is from other people who are treated the same way.  How long will that be maintained. I will tell you that I think not much longer, and that eventually the good pinatas like me will run out and you will be hitting things with shards of glass and nails flying into your blind racist eyes.

how to go down in history

 This flag did not persecute me:

This flag does persecute me:

There are a variety of intents among a diverse group of people with different experiences, speaking of diversity.  But generally, I will say that to me, the rainbow flag was a relevant symbol of brave people sticking up for themselves, and the newer, complicated flag is a flag of control freaks who got greedy.  Conflators who wanted revenge and domination, and stolen fame in front of some imagined history that is destroying its own audience on purpose, including young people suffering with real gender differences. I will be working out my disgust from this persecution for the rest of my life.

Hate is what they want from me and what their flag stands for. People can say what they mean and don't mean, but the truth is often more apparent than what people will admit, and hundreds of millions of people who were betrayed by the same hypocrits know exactly what I am talking about. Believe me or don't believe me, and support me or don't.  The truth will be known and play itself "out."

Downfall of Blog and Country

 

Well everyone, can I ever return to my blog as just a fun journal instead of a list of all encompassing grievances of which there is no limit for more material?

 

I think some stuff has happened that makes it too late for people to benefit from what I have to say.  Possibly some of my poetry books will get to the next people and be good for entertainment and small scale religious support.  But a bad cloud of politics definitely had its way over my very decent and legitimate attempts to participate well in mass communication.

 

So the idea to share for this post is that I think our country should consider breaking up, though it could be too late for that.  Maybe into three countries, maybe North America into some new states with Mexico included as well.  Maybe some states combined into provinces like Canada. This could have been done through treaties, laws, and votes, but probably now any solutions like that will not be peaceful.  Political people just were too intent on having their way and they were media people, so they ate up our facebook free speech blessing and will now weild our own friendships as one of their most aggressive weapons.  And yet I think there are a lot of people like me who have had enough.  There were some late comers to the more liberal views about insurance and gender, and a lot of those people still have a goodness about them that could have been for the whole country.  But the less peaceful minded people wanted something other than the justice they claimed to fight for. They wanted to be in the history books defeating their imaginary oppressors. The anti-christianity among so much of it is to me the sign that it won’t yield good results and some stuff is probably going to happen to change things in ways people would not expect.

 

I guess there could be a world war soon, but I also see that a lot of people might have to flee persecution in the United States, and either establish their own territories ungoverned by democratic power freaks, or immigrate to other places like Africa and China with colonial intentions like the Mexicans.

 

Obviously I am just writing without knowing that much, but there are some things I do know about what will not fly in this world and in God’s sight.

Demising and Despising

 Well everyone, I hope you are having a good day and don’t mind this variety of rant quality complaining on my blog.  I really only have a few topics left rattling around in my brain. One of those topics has to do with definitely skipping the arrogance parade in New york for the Juneteenth time this year, and being tired of the pronoun police harassing me even though I actually have legitimate gender problems that their appropriation and religious persecution is based on.  I would prefer to have used my pen name Refried Bean ten years ago as soon as I came to New York and then sincerely avoid pronouns according to my lifelong gender suffering, but it is exactly those kind of people who shut me down on a level not just of career loss but of worldwide influence loss. But I am learning that the scale of it that makes me despair also makes it be God’s concern and not mine, and I might not even have interest to watch my enemies’ brains splatter on judgement day. 

Second to mention is just another topic I keep not getting around to and that is the likelihood of reparitions for tax dollars eventually taking place some day in a similar way as slavery payback. I actually do side pretty whole heartedly with slavery reparitions and think it is a goal that can and does happen in disguised forms.  But some of the reason I can’t make my rightful contribution is from the very same racist politics of people who deny so many other types of leeching, abuse, and deliberate societal harm that happens in our world and country from people of any background.

 

Thirdly, what is happening with these pandemics and shootings? Will people really not whisper the possibility of biological warfare and foreign attacks? I think some of the assault, both as war and defamation, is a delayed reaction to the British Empire and a still embarrassingly reluctant or involuntary admission that people should have more eagerly accepted the gospel that was shared to them two hundred or so years ago. People’s edited anti-colonial narratives have to leave out a lot of facts to continue a denial of what seem to be unprecedented martyrdom opportunities for whole countries and continents, which also happen to be too conspicuously inclusive and diverse for their suffering to be viewed only as a delayed retributive punishment of hypocritical oppression. Whoever demands the baton in their contrived drama of overcoming cultural domination hopefully will be just as successful with sharing the only true and enduring faith of righteous people, which is humble and powerful Christianity.  In the US, where people won’t shut up about how bad the Christians are, or Republicans, or whoever exactly has been listening to hymns in their cars, some of these suspiciously plentiful and strategically timed shootings have a self-destruction component that kind of reminds me of wars from the 1400s. I say that in code because the northerners have taught me to only pretend to speak out about “injustice,” (or is it evil), while they consistently hide their complicitness with bad people and exploiters as much as those they bully. Education on nuclear technology is just too much a worthwhile bargain trade for impressive school diversity stats.  All this stuff I politely and RIGHTFULLY kept to myself until people made their choices to harass me and ruin my life.  And now I will say why I am bothered, and it will be the same in heaven, when time is up, and God unleashes his very own individualized slurs that instantly destroy every nation and people who chose humiliation over humility.

An out of control blogging maniac

 Hi everyone, it’s blog-a-thon Friday, I can’t hear you…. What’s that? You think I’ve had enough to write? That is how it does in fact work and the writer’s high combined with my normal reaction to how things are going for me in my neighborhood puts me almost in the range of just a normal extreme depression below any standard scale in the hospitals I can’t afford without leaning too heavily on “the system.”  And who hasn’t secretly always wanted to be part of “the system.”  That is what I have always said all along, and it is on all my personal statements for all the school programs that I did to try to earn even a fraction of minimum wage.  I said, “I would like to be part of “the system,” and now my dreams have all come true. Next I am going to say “I just want a piece of the pie,” only it will be literal strawberry pie that I bake in my supported housing apartment that I am probably going to lose now because of complaining about people trying to give me covid, trying to block me from the elevator, trying to block me from my own apartment door, and playing music so loud in my ears that I have to wonder if they did autism research ahead of time to get the maximum effect added to my already damaged brain that got hurt from working in a bookstore.  A night club? No. a loud factory? No. A bookstore. A jackhammer construction job? No. A bookstore with music that fried my brain because of its volume and its deliberately violating content, personally chosen by Marion and Allison who continued working there after 30 thousand witnesses saw them ruin my life on purpose.  However, the secret messages are saying the district manager named Chris is also a torture suspect at this time.  I have to say that I don’t know on that one, so there must be other witnesses who have already turned in their reports. And she must have worked with lawyers and secret shoppers, so maybe we are waiting on a list of several hundred bad people who are also going to face charges and lose their licenses or social work jobs or whatever it is that people use to attack disabled people with autism.  Wow, that is some absurd comedy that will probably be hard for any jury to believe. So I guess we can expect another life ruining farce soon enough, but not before I jot down some notes for all my real readers 500 years from now. You gotta hate it when your worst cashier turns out to be a Confucius or Hafiz, or just a regular christian with accurate faith that God and all his angels are using global warming to invent new weather because they know they do not have enough lightning to strike the Barnes and Noble up and ups who so nobley and barnfully chose and distributed everyone’s pornography for all those years. 

What you want from your hair is not there.

 Identity politics is failing. Here in New York, people will soon have to either violate or repeal civil rights laws to get away with how they are treating people. People will have to overtly block the food supply like the murderers in Darfur, and any pretense of civilization will be gone. The work spent to get other people’s paychecks could always have been actual economic progress instead, with a harvest that now will not happen.  You can’t have it both ways, and the fact is that to keep the power you chose instead of justice you have had to join with a forty year assault on the people who did what they were supposed to.  The north made its choice to teach everyone that people could do and believe anything with no consequences, and now on a deadly level the lack of goodwill problem-solving has cost our country both safety and liberty.  People think no one has noticed the little leaps in logic, the little cheatings in philosophy, and the way political traitors have held the door open for rapists and murderers. But everyone has eyes, good or bad. You can’t take away the righteousness that has happened from people who trust in God and do what he says. No one is perfect, but a basic orientation to what is right and good will show itself, and anyone who has devoted even the slightest allegiance to actual justice sees liberal hypocrisy for what it is. Our disgust is as accurate as your outrage is fake. The audience for your charade is disappearing, and everyone knows how bad you must have been for whitey and the man to end up as Ghandi in this scenario.

The Lord Gives and the Democrats Take Away

 

Well everyone, I am in Greenville right now visiting my mom and dad.  It is like a captivity situation but I only have seven more days. I survive by being thankful for what is good about it which mostly has to do with comfort and food.  I also have a few friends that I am able to socialize with, though the main problem is that I can't socialize well because I do not have a car.  And really I could borrow my dad's truck, but my mom would freak out.  And that is the main issue is that my mom controls me irrationally and emotionally punishes me no matter what I do.  So if I use a certain plate or bowl then we might have twenty conversations where I justify my decision.  It is actually I think beyond anything that people can understand in this life and I just have to believe that God understands and that someday it will be over.

 

My dad is living in assisted living now and I thought he was safe there but he fell last night because they are not that vigilant about keeping him safe.  But he is not supposed to get up by himself but the fact is that he did and it is their job to keep him from falling.  So that is unreliable but I think I will advise my mom to just keep him there and know there is nothing that we can do about how people treat us.  People are mean to me in New York, too, and there are multiple networks of people who target me personally with their racism and harrassment.  And yet I see our country being ruined too and know that it could be an entire generation of young people who have it worse in our country full of about two thirds savage barbarians. So I will just keep staying alive, praying, and waiting until someone goes too far.

 

This blog is ruined. You can tell I tried to share my faith but that is not really the whole issue. At first my writing was just friendly high quality and it wasn't that religious.  But people have reduced my life to only having hope for heaven, so that is what I try to share with other people. But it doesn't matter does it.  I simply have no online outlet for good communication anymore.  Facebook took themselves back.  I kind of feel sorry for them because it could have been a historical legacy lasting hundreds of years but they chose the politics or the money or something that ruined one of the best things that ever happened to people.  They are like billionaire failures. Another interesting thing is how nerdy some of this persecution is.  Like it is the history nerds from school who want to be in the textbooks seeming like latin revolutionaries or whatever else they saw in their school lessons other than the baby killers that they are.  Happy Mothers Day, we're coming for your tax dollars to kill everyone's full term children. Self-righteousness without the righteousness. The finale to four year of relentless political abuse is Biden stuttering in Poland as China and Iran prepare to come take slaves from America. I could literally keep writing for twenty more pages about the same stuff that depresses me every day. But in some ways, it just isn't necessary, because EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS! That's why you are censoring us.  Because you don't want the truth to be told.  But everyone already knows it and you have recorded yourselves deliberately ruining the lives of almost the whole world for multiple generations. We all know what you did and how fake your protests are and how you have to call anyone who does what they are supposed to a supremacist to try to explain the growing difference between the socialist hell holes and the flourishing grocery economies of the places where people chose service instead of empty, abusive activism.

Fathoming and Forgetting

 Well everyone, I hope you are having a nice day. I am doing okay and my apartment is about to be inspected at my supported housing program for mental illness. I have been busy for a few days and attended a prayer conference this past weekend. I always see visions when I participate in programs and classes from the seminary that hosted the event, and sure enough, I saw several days of prophecy and hallucinations and experiences of the Bible seeming lit up for me.  It was great and the people were really nice to include me.  I think some bad things got wrangled and my prayers will continue to be powerful despite some mental decline.

I am signed up for another conference that is much different this weekend at the same place.  There has been some possibility of not being able to handle it but I think I will be fine and it has a good overlap with art in the world so it is not just pure monk power that will send me off the deep end.  Here is an article that I think describes my conditions well, though at the core of it I feel like I have been confronting the war against my soul and all souls as described in the whole book of 1 Peter.  I like Peter and associated him with Catholicism but his opening paragraph in that book is very Presbyterian. The article: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5613459/

 

This blog has a lot of posts written while being gutwrenched to the point of organ damage and irreversible mental deterioration, and I have to say that when I see the heart of it in religious settings, I agree with myself that some of it is from injustice that is not my fault. There is opportunity in it to worship and be blessed without dependence on exterior affirmation from a failing and falling world, but really, there is no excuse for me to be catapulted into super saint status without bringing the millions of people with me who could have benefited from my normal life and work.  I can feel the truth of it when I say that it is wrong, that there is now a ten year crime against me that hurts my whole society and world, and it will only get worse without some kind of reversal and acknowledgement.  I keep trying to guess what my next steps are, and it seems that for some reason, there are hundreds of people partaking in the suffering instead of millions of people benefiting from our work.  So that is where I will have some trust of a will behind a will, and God’s patience with so much more disrespect than I have felt myself. The affront to God needs to be understood before people aspire to reach the nations with his love.  Some of his mercy is in the fact that he would care enough to feel the great offense, and I think that learning about this was what took me from a parkinson’s dementia problem to renewal of a deeper understanding of God’s forgiveness and patience.

marketing ploys

 Well hi everyone, I hope you are having a nice Sunday.  Did you guys think I was going to get stuff done this weekend?  I am not sure why anyone thought that.  I do have some more books to mail to friends, though.  I am thinking of marketing myself as “the howard stern of children’s literature.”  I just think that would really make people wonder what my books were all about, and possibly have a reverse psychology effect on people who will want to censor me.  I guess in some ways that has already happened, similar to the way some friends trying to help hurricane victims in North Carolina basically can’t share their posts on facebook at all because of the algorithms.  It just isn’t possible anymore to do announcements.  It is because of politics, and everyone knows it, and we know who has treated us bad and good.  And who has used us, and pretended to care, and who still deludes themselves into thinking a beatles song is good religion. “But it says ‘no religion.’” Sure, whatever. We’re onto your little games and always have been, ever since you started hating us in the nineties for caring about your salvation. Wrenchings, depictions, no one will ever know. God’s not looking. We’re spending our reward and yours too. We’re just like world war II heroes except we click facebook ads instead of storming beaches. 

 

Well, that is today’s dose, everyone.  Not as fundable with tax dollars as an overdose, but some medicine just as well.  Get it, well?  Medicine? Well? Like get well soon? Wells Fargo? North Dakota? The state I always forget to pray for. Just joking, I forget several of the states and still haven’t installed the google maps app on my phone that Russia is going to use on us as soon as Biden continues to do nothing.

 

the theme is...

the theme is, i have enough to go on and people are helping me survive.

the theme is, this cuts the mustard.

the theme is, it's a creative opportunity.

the theme is, it can all be a game because other people's trauma doesn't count

the theme is, we need to let the world be destroyed before anyone reads your poems 

the theme is, we paid too much for college so now the world has to act out whatever charade makes us feel better

i guess i could have gone to sunday school today but i am going to church in a while.

the theme is, we pretended it was the holocaust and now there's a real one that we're okay with and actually proud about

the theme is, illegal immigrants will be held accountable for their role in our compromised leadership that can't save europe

the theme is, hand over your money or we'll make armed robbery legal

So much for Hollywood

 Everyone is now waiting for the horrible thing to happen, watching it like a movie by checking the news online constantly, which is what the Media control freaks wanted to happen.  This is the part when the nuclear power plants in Ukraine explode.  We have all known for several days that that was Russia’s intention.  That’s enough time for an air strike from the only military capable of defending Europe.  But instead, Biden is sitting back thinking that people will think highly of him every time a nuke kills millions at one time, including people in our own country now as the nuclear submarines travel towards us. What a “peaceful” guy.  And why do people care too much about Europe? That is so racist, says NBC. All I can say is what if some white people do care about other white people? Black people are certainly allowed to care about other black people.  And a lot of us have in fact cared when people were killed in Syria because we already should have stood up to these same bullies.  And what about Nigeria? It is true that we didn’t’ send any thousands of soldiers to help fight evil there. When hundreds of schoolgirls were captured, Michelle Obama held up a sign on facebook posts with everyone else, saying “Bring back our girls.”  There are just some things you don’t have control over. But for the person who does have command of an army like the United States to duck from his duty and instead rally up international amateurs to use this moment to boost “international law” as a way of undercutting his own country’s sovereignty, right when our former power is most needed, is a historic devastation and a defining sign of the intentional cultural damage from everyone who supports him or reflects the influence of political “haters” like the New York Times and others who have destroyed our country on purpose.

Who really wants to say I told you so

 Is this some kind of joke that Biden is in Delaware on vacation while Putin has nuclear weapons on launch mode?  We should have shot down every one of their military targets as soon as Putin even moved his soldiers to Ukraine's border. I feel bad for not blogging my suspicion that choosing not to defend Ukraine would in no way prevent the world war that Putin wants to start.  He decided in quarantine that he wants to use up Russia’s stockpile of military resources, and America is one of the targets.  Possibly after Europe, but possibly not. This is his sick bucket list from facing covid. Will I post this, will I not. I don't know. I have ideas for a full military strategy that are so good I shouldn't post them.  And I am a poet and mentally ill depressed person.  So frankly that makes me impatient with a president who might be incompetent in all senses of the word. And yet there is another tragedy, to not be that surprised, and to see that really it does reflect our country in many ways.

Continued blog coverage of the invasion of Europe

 

Ok, some American troops deployed.  Are there enough? Or will it be a political game for US politics, to say, at least we tried, etc. To say, we have some blood in the “game,” instead of the blood being on the losing side.  Is Biden a good person after all? Is he the Julie Andrews of politics? I will support him and already was, until I saw Ukraine get faked out.  And then sanctions, but where is the defense? That is all I will say for a while. People have their reasons for not trusting leaders, and the aggression happening in our own country is for me one of those reasons. Democrats tear things up with their teeth and then say they don’t believe in violence. And now we need to use weapons, or are multiple cities expected to be martyred by nukes, and for what? Christianity? After mocking evangelicals for thirty years?  I think there has already been quite a display of our patience.

Judgement Day Cards

 Well everyone, it is a Thursday morning. I am saddened by the horror overseas, and of course the problems in our country that probably have more foreign influence than people realize or will admit. But the good guys will win and the truth will prevail. I wrote about my opinions on my mad blog and I might have overdone it a little bit but I am going by what I read in the news.  Today I might go to the grocery store.  I don't feel safe on the subway now and question the intentions of our new mayor though it is early to tell what will happen with some things. So I am not sure how to go to the bank later this week. I usually go downtown because the racism in my neighborhoods has prevented me from being able to shop normally and go to the banks closer to where I live. I thought of a good idea for Judgement Day which is like a Pokemon card game where people have their stats and you try to beat people's other cards with profiles of people who seem random but might "trump" people in unexpected ways.  In heaven there would be billions of possible cards, and some people would be like drawing a "draw four" card in Uno, or like the Queen of Spades in Hearts or something.  That is an idea for a poem, I guess, so I will try to write it soon.  I am just writing this post now because my next post seems like it is from today when really it was from several days ago.  Well have a nice day everyone.

See you at the poles

   Well everyone, I hope you are having a good Monday and aren’t having a bad case of the Monday blues or a Russian invasion of your country. I myself was extra careful to not accidentally hum the wrong national anthem when I walked to the grocery store today.  That is my topic for this blog post which is actually just a random opinion and not about the war that is probably about to happen on a terrifying horrific scale.  

    Anyway my opinion I want to share is that I think our country chose the wrong national anthem and it should have been the “my country tis of thee” song, and that the star spangled better works better as a poem.   When you quote the poem to yourself, it is really kind of powerful.  “Oh say does that star spangled banner ever yet wave…”. That is powerful.  But in song form it kind of has the tune of a screeching cat.  People freaked out that time that Rosanne Barr butchered the song on purpose as a joke, but the song is already “butchered.” Like it is really a poem and not that good of a song.  Did God allow it so we would look stupid all these years at baseball games?  I don’t know. Possibly. I am not suggesting that it be changed, but I am sharing this artistic opinion that I believe I am right about. There is a truth to what is good art, what is good speech, what is true and right.  And when people decide what everyone will go along with, maybe it works out fine, but maybe eventually people see things for what it is.  This genuinely isn’t a post about the war or our country’s problem politics, or the fact that I might not be able to watch the news during this time because of racism. This post is not in disguise or implying certain agendas that the in-crowd will nod along with. It is just an effort to do a normal blog post like my old posts before this blog was ruined by people hurting me. 

   Anyway, back to the star spangled banner song.  Is it an indication that there is supposed to be a place for poetry more in our society? Like maybe that there should be an anthem and a poem? This isn’t that important but I do say it because I believe I am right and the truth of it is really something to think about and learn from.

Way to go Olympic athletes, you deserve a lot of medals

 Hi everyone, I hope you are having a nice Friday so far.  If you are just now reading this blog, you can see that there has been some recent censorship drama. It does bother me but I also know it is rigged and Zuckerberg has been nice to me. I love facebook- it changed my life.  But I think that some people want there to be a social civil war happening at the same time as a possible world war, and I think those people are going to lose some friends and possibly already have. I blocked most of them already.  I just think that people who want to make everything be about an election every four years might be missing some other opportunities, and people who make everything else turn into a fight too might have done worse than miss opportunities.   

So that is that. I might post some more stuff on my new minds dot com site. I steadily think of zingers but some of it is becoming obsolete.  For instance, I have an idea for a post with the New York Times building where I call it the Iranian Embassy.  I mean that is freaking classic but really they could be targeted by actual Iran and then won’t I look stupid?

 

I want to tell everyone I don’t think New York is going to be nuked.  It is just a personal prophecy feeling but I will go ahead and share it. In my social skills group for mental illness we talked about Putin and Biden’s social skills.  It was kind of funny to see it that way but I hope everyone is staying safe.  Probably all those guys have been attacking the United States for ten years and that is part of what is behind all the shootings and other random violence.  I am keeping Asian Americans in mind because a lot of them have been hurt lately and you could totally see even China or someone staging those attacks to trick us.

 

But way to go Olympic athletes and your mascot is cool too.

Legal Terms

 So this is interesting.  I post a photo of a unicorn pinata on my minds dot com page, which I have retreated to because of censorship on facebook.  That’s Facebook, with sometimes literally only ads on my feed, running along the posts of my friends, who will never be paid because technically they’re not influencers.  So facebook is still cashing in on a huge chunk of normal nice people who haven’t been won over as official socialists yet.  I have to say I do agree with Facebook’s staunch support of black people, because they are at risk in our culture and war and have a legacy of endurance that is possibly the most special part of world history happening right now. And could they take refuge in those other sites? Possibly not. But the leveraged algorithms and sometimes blatant silencing on facebook is a hypocrisy, which I believe takes for granted the goodness of less political people.  And I think they are actively starving us of seeing as many good posts as well, after years of an appreciation and participation that was simply not aggressively supremacist in any way.  People want to say that caring about kids, posting photos of family, and sharing recipes is the same as white supremacy.  But we feel sorry for you and everyone sees your bullcrap for what it is, just like the starbucks logo and everything else that's deliberately offensive in our lives. 

Anyway as I was saying, I posted the photo of the unicorn and I think it was a good post in that minds site libertarian context.  And before that I posted a blog post about Target and shared it on facebook.  That is what got me censored. Well it so happens that I bought that same unicorn pinata for my nieces at a Target during Christmastime, and when I did, a legal shark private investigator made themselves known at the cash register.  It was because I was low on my cash which also includes SSDI money.  Plus it seems now that they predicted my participation in free speech social media which I am afraid probably does harbor a lot of racists and right wing extremists.

 

So that is very interesting, because I also expect to find some gamer friends on these social media sites, and I feel like that private investigator actually is essentially a gamer in a strategy game that is supposed to reach into the next million years or so.  And in another post I called one of my old bookstore bosses a nemesis, which is a word I don’t mean to copy from a different writer, but I don’t know how else to refer to someone who is like a strategy game opponent past purgatory.  Okay opponent was the missing word.  Anyway I also want to say that my main reaction when I was standing next to the legal threat person is that the person is going to heaven someday.  I am just good at spiritual assessment and believed on sight that person is not in danger of God’s wrath.  And other people I know who have veered towards mixing up other religions or just denying Christianity actually do seem to have a worse spiritual problem, and yet they are not legally terrorizing me to the point where I have to communicate to the person I like through secret messages in an insurance call.

 

And then now as I type that I suspect that it is not about gaming but about comedy. Meanwhile it still seems like my books aren’t being read and I know they should be.  What is the problem?  I don’t need to be CS Lewis but I do think I should have the right to be Refried Bean.

 

Well, I don’t know if I will share this post any time soon on facebook or if I can.  I mean maybe I can share it on minds dot com but am I a target now from more than Target?

 

Have a great day everyone, stay safe. Just eat food, stock up on groceries, do the best you can. Put your faith in God and your martyrdom will not be wasted.

Being De-activated

I kind of get it, how people like me should not be the older brother in the prodigal son story and criticize the political people while they work out their hypocrisy quirks from not having the same religion. I really do see it and feel a genuine patience.  And yet I don’t have a livelihood and am being persecuted by the main market outlet that also in some ways has officially super-ceded government.  And the fact that it is also technically personal and will cut me off from lifelong friends, after contributing so much to their success myself.  The fact is that my contribution actually could be calculated into dollars, and in a way already has been and is reflected in people’s fortunes.  Yet my loss is incalculable and will be worse when sad lonely kids also don’t have access to an author’s books that could have added to another safe classroom environment.  That is a new turf people are fighting over, after years of proving the media can’t quite be trusted with anything sacred.

Does Russia see our bullseyes

 Black people in Target ads.  Such a revolution.  Really, it brings tears to my eyes.  How are your wages, Target?  Something tells me that your billionaire stockholders are the ones still holding on to all the reparitions money for us.  I am sure the cashiers won't mind at all when you all make your tearful presentation of such a priceless or priceful gift to our nation, or at least screech in pain in front of the yawning chasm of fire once everyone knows it is too late.

Books to help with Bullying

If your child likes Maus, they might really like a book series called Dead Sea Squirrels, which is about Jesus Christ gunning down liberal bullies at Armageddon. Gee, why isn’t that being shared on facebook? People say, no, you don’t understand, it will be the kids hurt by gun violence.  Or is that actually a risk because of the Russians and Jihadists in our society that we don’t know about because our media would rather also assault us?  Facing World War III without good journalism.  Or is it a Civil War, or just the Culture War that got too nasty, or always was?

 

Our silence is the exact patience that will save your souls if that is still possible, though everyone knows by now it might not be. As long as people try to equate hate crimes with innocent work and volunteering, then you will never have the other half of the country you have lost and continue to cruelly taunt because of your greed and monstrous thirst for power.

Welcome to my blog

 Hi everyone, I hope you are having a nice day. Today is the day after groundhog’s day.  It is such a sweet holiday that has not been commercialized whatsoever.  But I think children should get candy or something for it, in addition to drawing pictures of a sweet brown animal.

Anyway I am advertising on facebook now, for 7 dollars a day.  That is a small budget.  I am averaging 27 cents a click which is really pretty good.  It is also on a trend where the clicks are increasing so I am excited about that.

 

But you can probably see that I have published a lot of books without much of a following to show for it.  It does agonize me but I think there is a conspiracy and I am trying to be patient. 

 

In this blog my personal wrenching becomes mixed with political perspectives sometimes, and I am expressing some views as a reaction to a lot of news that I almost can’t even read anymore.  I just feel a media assault that makes me feel triggered by stories and posts and causes me to defend people who I think are accused unfairly.  So I seem like a right winger but I actually conspicuously did not choose politics as my main expression of beliefs.  Some people did, and they want to drag people like me into it more.  In the north, it is popular to “speak truth to power,” but most of these people have all the cultural power and political power already, so they can only act out their charade by targeting church leaders and republicans. I feel bad for them, and some of the missing religion here is a tragedy.

 

But some of these people are the best people there are and have years behind them of providing care for oppressed people as an example that should not be wasted.  Has there been enough outreach instead of persecution?  I would say no, and the habit seems to be that once people crack the code on societal needs, they try to enforce their ways though law before winning people over in a more authentic way of service, which does happen to be the sincere religion of the people most violated.  

 

Anyway no need to try to explain everything I have observed, but there is a lot of political hypocrisy that has ruined my life personally, as well as heroic mercy that has kept me alive to experience more oppression.  So I will at least blog about it while people ignore me, and look forward to heaven when God tells me my blog was his favorite without a doubt, and that I was the star of an imaginary mice cartoon for the saints all along.

to visit my facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/Refriedbeanpoet

to visit my amazon page: https://www.amazon.com/Refried-Bean/e/B0927TF2PD/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1

bullied on facebook or by facebook?

Well hi everyone, today is Friday.  Are you new to visiting my blog? I don’t have that many blog visitors to my knowledge but maybe some of my facebook friends stumble upon it sometimes.  Yesterday I posted a photo on facebook of a hawk that is nice to me near my apartment.  It tries to communicate with me and flies near me on purpose.  The geese there sometimes aren’t friendly, which makes it even more unusual because it is not just a case of me being like St. Francis or something.  It is like very specific socializing like with humans. 

Anyway when I posted it, one of my friends sent a secret code in the comments to other political people on my feed, telling them to see a post I posted about my friend who died.  Then I saw a very rude and disturbing post about censorship by another one of my friends who I don’t know that well but who had once sent a friend request that I think was actually a new type of ad from facebook.  That is kind of depressing because I feel a little bit bullied, and might have to defriend a college friend who I have known for twenty years. People did that stuff a lot to me last year, and I know I have about a hundred facebook friends who have chosen consistent political betrayal to harass me.  It is interesting because supposedly the main evangelical crime against everyone was like a false friendship using people for conversion stats but I would say this new betrayal in the other direction is much worse yet not that much different for people trying to accuse us of stuff.  I think the glee of it and the momentum from winning an election is somewhat understandable but also a mistake and what we have is a recording of vicious disrespect not unlike what a lot of us have felt from the media for many years.  It is not a new revolution and it is not about mexican children. It is about bored greedy people trying to undo the spiritual work of a lot of good people who did what they were supposed to despite overwhelming resources used against us and the young people we tried to defend.

But I guess at least I have a hawk friend who doesn’t treat me like that. I hope the gargoyles do the same for all of y’all where you are going.

Stop and Shop Forever

Well everyone, today is Thursday, Jan 6. I am just waiting my turn to be beheaded by millennials, if the generation before them doesn’t succeed in ruining their lives to death first. People might say, aren’t you in the generation before them? No, actually. I am a little baby elephant named Peanut.

Anyway, I made some cookies today.  I have a cold of some sort but don’t think it is covid.  I think I got it from being breathed on deliberately from passers by, or possibly from eating off the floor in my apartment.  And I do not know if I will go to the store later for DayQuil or not because I do not want all the grocery store people to beat me at life as essential workers.  

 

I just listened to a sermon from CH Spurgeon about letting names perish for the sake of the eternal name of God. It was a pretty good sermon but what is unclear is how much people have to try for that to happen.  Like it seems that it could happen anyway, so that delusions of martyrdom to add to God’s glory should not be too entertained except for following Christ’s example and teaching.  So that is a topic for further study, or for further facebook advertising to promote certain poetry books with quality that is certainly perishing just as the sermon told.

 

Anyway that is a difficult topic for me to hear about now because I think I have several souls after being split into horcruxes last year like Tom Riddle in the harry potter books.  The fact is that these covid times have been rough on me from people doing it on purpose, and I don’t appreciate it.  No one wants to be found out as Voldemort on Judgement Day, but it is pretty clearly on the horizon for me because of my attitude problems that were provoked on purpose by better Christians.  But I still have hope for living in the real arkham asylum in purgatory, which I now have a lego model of that I built on new years. It confused my resolutions a little bit to now know what to aspire for, but hopefully assembling the corresponding jokerland carnival set later this month will cement my intentions in the right direction. I do like funhouses and clowns, and I think I already know which direction most people I care about are headed for.

“It takes a harem”

 Well everyone, it seems that I am having more hallucinations and I suspect that it is mostly the liberals from the 90s, haunting everyone because they know a new batch of control freaks is lining up to have their heads explode on judgement day. I am thankful for all the people who have turned out to be real friends on my social media feeds.  It is definitely not everyone, and there are religious people trying to reach over me to get to harrassers who do nothing but insult me and campaign at me with their memes that they have been hoarding in an odd but unsurprisingly greedy way starting in the trump years. That is not a fun combo, and neither is the realization that when I run ads to share poetry with a wider audience, it just shares to my friends I already have.  That is because facebook itself Is also dirty, and it is really no longer zuckerberg’s immaturity behind the tricks for more clicks, but savvy algorithm people who will eventually use everyone’s identities to enslave anyone working in America and use artificial intelligence to rule our schedules and force people to either view or be viewed as porn in order to buy food and participate in any commerce whatsoever. In a way, some of the worst of it has already happened voluntarily, which is the tragic harvest of a thirty year media assault from people who paid too much for college where they learned only to crap on the good people dwindling towards the corners.  God intervened in our cultural starvation with an extravagant social media blessing, but the same bullies have tried to take over those channels as well.  I guess that is to finalize God’s plans to call it what it is, like usual throughout history, and destroy all the bad people with one all powerful glance of disgust in a moment very near. People have had plenty of warning, and you can kind of already see the falseness behind a lot of the twitter harassment, which developed in a different pattern than the original social media that was so mitigated with normal good people.   I have futily been looking forward to whenever facebook releases a “facebook classic” edition of facebook, or if myspace ever reboots to claim their origins, or if a new social media site called “Actuals” can ever round up another selection of people who don’t harass me every day like the drug dealers on the way to the grocery store.  Meanwhile, as the people who have seized government power for a few years until people realize in horror what socialism is really about, the country is not just divided into nazis and dem-jerks, but more like an east and west Germany where the bum section blue urban communes expect the prosperous working people to pay for their drug habits and child abuse. Of course I seem so much like one of them because of my disability, but I know that God has better ultimate plans than for me to become a socialism pawn while the potheads try to blur my innocence into their fundraisers to support “people with mind altering experiences,” or worse, “justice involved” peers. The new plan is for clients and patients to be paid either in addition or instead of their social workers and doctors.  Just thought I would go ahead and report that, since my honest intentions to actually work have been found to be too convenient an ambition to not roll through every new system engineered to funnel more money from all the poor cashiers in the south, who will have every condition that either caused these “other” conditions or is from these “conditions” in the first place.  That is part of the blur created on purpose, but true justice from God will be quite the opposite of a cloudy mass state system, and instead an exacting, accurate accounting for every thought and deed, with the ultimate choice of Christ or death being as clear as our world is muddy.

A Very 7-11 Christmas

Hi everyone, who is reading this blog? No one? That is very rude. Today is Christmas Eve. I woke up a little bit depressed but am okay now.  I went to the post office and my present from my sister was there and it did make the difference for how I feel today.  But I still urgently posted a photo of myself on facebook for other sad people. I wore my Greenville sweatshirt that my sister's family gave me.  It was such a good surprise and some candy from a store in my hometown called Mast General Store where they have barrels of candy.  So thanks everyone, thanks conspiracy, I am getting through another Christmas.  Does the person I like like me?  It could be the twelfth or fifteenth Christmas hurt by a delusion not coming true, but I will get through it.  I think that the conspiracy felt that I could afford the shame of that chronic problem.  I personally don't see it that way but still am committed to staying alive to pray for people.  Also I figured out that putting molasses in coffee creates a gingerbread flavor.  And I feel like that is something people need to know.

    Speaking of important news, I have been defending the evangelical church from libtards for a long time now, but for some reason, this christmas, I have some more awareness of how dirty some of those churches really are. How disgusting their discrimination is, and how long they have gotten away with it. I feel so sorry for them, and for their charade, and for how much everyone knows what they did and yet they all still prance around like it's other people with the problem. But their gaydar picked people up faster than any media hypocrits ever could, and they let people know in their own way who wasn't accepted and never would be.  Then those of us who had to be patient with it to survive were talked to like we were idiots for the rest of our lives. Like maybe we were the ones with the theological problem. But as the evangeli-tards continue to dedicate their lives and fashion to sharing their gospel of why they are better than everyone else, it is the rest of us who have had to ask God for help. I still really believe the church has done well in some ways, and that most of the northerners hate christians because we sing songs to God like they are too proud to do.  But I don't intend to spend the rest of my permanently ruined life keeping the church's sins a secret in the same closet as my mom and dad's worse persecution for much the same reasons. No one is going to get away with their ignorant harassment or their futile attempts to hide the evidence of their stupidity, which happens to be the entire rest of creation. In fact, I think everyone already knows most of the things still unsaid, yet I can't help but acknowledge that some people seem to have a little bit too much glee from their sick, selfish kidnapping fantasies coming true all around us in every country including our own.