Well everyone, I hope you are having a nice Sunday. I am doing okay but was kind of shocked at the marshmallow ratio in my Lucky Charms this morning. They kind of seem desperate or something, like trying to get more customers by adding a smidge much marshmallows. But I like marshmallows so it is fine.
Then I bought two things on amazon with a credit I got because they messed up an important book order worth three hundred dollars. And I kind of suspected when I ordered the books, which were author copies I was going to mail to friends, that they would mess it up as a power play. But really I think it is messed up at the post office level, which is kind of a precarious oddity that the whole system involves other companies and work that can prevent a shipment from getting through.
When I ordered the two things on amazon this morning and used the credit, they made it seem like a product discount instead of a payment, which I find dishonest, and it makes me sad that I am dependent on them to sell my books. But my rejection from traditional publishing was pretty long term established, so publishing with amazon is my last resort, and I love how my books turned out.
I think a lot of my books might be priced too low, but I am okay with those choices, and mostly okay with a few other choices I made along the way under duress. What kind of duress, well, maybe just my own impatience, but I do at this point think I am unexpectedly persecuted by sources that I actually had thought were going to be unusually supportive. And some people were, but not enough for me to succeed at face value. And I think at some point I have to see it that way and ask why I couldn’t be blessed and legitimate on the record as part of the normal economy.
And I do trace it mostly back to liberal politics, which hurts me more than the southern ignorance that has been too slow to support people with mental illness, bent genders, and other common circumstances that often also include some giftedness. Such a tragedy, and yet the north’s arrogant deliberate racism and power hungry oppression is so much worse.
But I think I already did my work to try to participate and add to any discussions, and it might be time for me to not try to keep up with the bad things happening. Like my only reporting will be to die soon as a representative statistic of what people’s hypocrisy actually resulted in. And there will probably be millions of others like me very soon, so I have learned the hard way that my reward or lost reward is in heaven. And maybe I will be blessed for trying, but gosh, maybe I won’t, and whose problem is that? No one’s. So it will be like one of those games at the fair that I could never win, like flopping those frogs onto the lily pads, with the carnival worker watching along with smug confidence, confirming their own prediction of my wasted time and money. I guess I just figured out what that phrase, “fair game,” means, like it means, fair, or unfair, like a fair game. Pretty interesting. There is a lot of interesting stuff in the past, where so many people had a sense of actual justice instead of just depending on the government to hijack other people’s work.
This is a long post but again is a reminder of how far I was willing to go for liberals, and how much they lost me. Just the smug guilt manipulation, the summoning of whatever demons misled the “indigenous” peoples before us, and their more and more blatant sacrifice of actual children to their false gods that will never be a successful cover for their disgusting and idiotic, shameful rejection of the real one.
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